I have given my soul to a passive ghost,
Now I'm sentenced to stand under a lamppost,
Searching for light while hiding it myself,
That is what makes my days wistful the most.
I try to regain consciousness of my mind,
So I find another entity to bind
To my seemingly lonely persona.
I still hang onto everything I find.
I act as if I received a stash of hearts,
For I broke mine into identical parts
To give to all those riveting people,
Whom I consider my own counterparts.
Now only a collapsed spirit, a lost soul,
I have only myself to blame that they stole
All of me, for when I gave it to them,
I knew I'd never again become whole.
I try to open the knot,
but my view blends together.
Just like my thoughts,
Yes, very much like my thoughts.
The knot represents my mind,
unsuccessfully trying to open up.
I should leave my past behind,
Yes, just like you left me behind.
Numb feeling
In my bed alone
Going crazy again
Haunted by memories
Trying my best to stay alive
You have to act. You act all day at home, so why not here? It's better when you isolate yourself completely from them.
It will break you and it will tear you apart. She is better off without you. She won't even notice. She will get so much better with her best friend.
They know each other for so long. So they can definitely move on without you.
You will fall apart.
You will die every day a little bit more.
But that's okay.
I can act. I act all day at home, so why not here?
I don't know how to be anything other than intense.
I don't know how to experience without feeling and thinking too much.
I don't know how to sit still and quiet my mind and just be.
I am always searching, always questioning and struggling to find the meaning in everything.
I am passionate and I am deep.
And that's why I am so often so misunderstood.
Today I woke up,
followed by a headache.
One hand around a teacup,
the other felt my heart break.
It's not a migraine,
I'm just followed by my thoughts.
I try my best to sustain,
my twisted mind until it rots.
The teardrops run down,
and fall off her nose.
She cries in dark corners,
where nobody goes.
You can follow the tracks,
from her eyes to her chin.
Years upon years,
and letting them win.
Her eyes tell a story,
of anger and pain.
You think that she's happy,
well just look again.
The scars of her past,
hidden under her clothes.
They are a roadmap to places,
that nobody knows.
you died,
I was 9
and I cried
tears bleached my eyes
and then I forgot you,
I missed you,
but I forgot you
I needed you,
but I forgot you
the hand of a fatherly figure
will haunt me forever
and although you hurt her
I'll love you forever
I'll be looking for you wherever
I'll be wanting the warmth of your body back
and it kills me the fact
I've
been searching far and wide
in the forest, in the darkest of nights
why, they told me to follow the light
that is supposed to shine
through my eyes
I've
not found a single soul
in the wilderness of this world
they told me I look like a wolf
in the woods
out of the pack I was pushed
what they don't see, is that I'm blind
what they don't see, is that I might've
given up
or so I thought
i once felt safe and comfortable in a box,
but the digits i forgot
and so out i am locked
As barren as the haggard womb
The dream is fallen into dust
And all around the visions loom
As barren as the haggard womb
Those formless beasts, how they consume
The flesh of innocence and trust
As barren as the haggard womb
The dream is fallen into dust
Burning tears sting my cheeks
Can't you see me
Suffocating in the smoke
The smoke that drowns out all your rationale
Betrayed, heartbroken, lost
You're too intoxicated to see my agony
Too blinded to see your own pitiful reality
Curled up in a corner
Dreaming of a different life
where the world's suffering doesn't poison
the innocent souls of children
It torments me to listen
To your haggard breathing
That seems to whisper help me
I love you but i cannot save you