Make me smile.
Make me shine.
Even if you won't be mine.
Make me forget,
That you will leave.
Make me forget,
That my heart can't breathe.
I gave you everything.
First my happiness.
Then my heart.
Last my soul.
And what did you do?
First told me
You would love me.
Then you took it back.
And I'm still living without
What I gave to you.
And wish that one time
It will come back to me again.
A tear is rolling down her face.
Her eyes full with feelings.
Love and sadness.
She got a broken heart.
She needs a hug.
By the person who did this to her.
Her mouth tries to smile.
But she fails.
I want to touch her,
Tell her,
Everything will be okay.
But my fingers just touch the mirror.
It's hurting.
When she's sitting between us,
It's like we're strangers.
When she's touching your skin,
It's like you're in love with her.
When she's stroking your hair,
It's like she belongs to you.
When you talk about her,
You're smiling the whole time,
Like you can't think of anything else.
When she talks about you,
It sounds like,
You deserve someone better than me.
And when I tell you,
There's this happy smile on your face.
It's hurting so much.
The book is breathing
I can see it, it's muscled, riveted chest rising and falling like a flame
I can't see its eyes, but i know its watching me
No one else i know breathes. no one has time
No one I know is brave enough to breathe
They fear what will happen if the stop long enough to exhale
I dont breathe, though I have the time
If I breathe, fragments of my sorrow will be exhaled into the world like the plague
Instead I stopper it inside this moving flask
Its walls glassy and cold
Stock-still as my polluted breath circulates
Thrashing at the edges of my patience
But this book is breathing
For the first time in months, I encounter a breathing thing
And I think:
It was a sunny morning
September 30th, 2021
We were playing with the flowers
High up in a tree
Branches that fit our height just right
The clouds that felt like candy
When the rain comes it will turn to dust
When the tree grows over the years it will fall out of place
Out of reach
Or too much in reach, there was no way up
So far down
We could never reach the top again
Every day the cloud would give us a piece of its candy
For months it was delicious
But one day it started tasting like shriveled up leaves
We were high up on a hill
When I see you walking by
With your own little lamp
To see forward
While I stay behind
Trying to find you in the blindness
With the lyrics you made
When it only took one breath
To say you didn't feel the same
The path faded
The outline still there to guide me to nothing
But I follow it anyway
As I see the lamps light
Shining bright
All through the night
When I wake up it's gone
With the dark candle in my hand
I am the masked tree
When they first saw me they bowed
Back then the road was clear
As the match lit fire and soon died down
I sat growing leafs
Until my tree fell down
¨You pitiful lying blossom¨
They called me
I was the masked tree to them
But I lost the trunk
The base to my leaves
I once was a blossom
And again now
They think I am what I tried to overcome
Now I sit
Trying to regrow my leaves
"Do you love yourself?"
I ask myself, but never can I answer
I don't know
Some days I'm fine
And others I just can't control
The thought of the one make me shine through the dark
Never giving up
It doesn't go easy on me
Drowning me in it all
But I can only fly away for so long
I wish everyday to wake up and be a different person
But it never works because that one spell keeps me the same
I want to be perfect
I'm never going to be that special
I have dreams
But they snatch them and put them in front of my face
I am trapped in a small, narrow room
With no food,
No water,
No light
And no love.
I'm an innocent person put to jail
randomly;
Whoever did it must have
No justice.
Not even a single drop of it,
Not even a speck
Or a grain.
It chooses anyone,
Like a little boy running around
Poking random people
And shouting,
If i were to kill myself
Dont be sad
theres nothing anyone could do
Its just how it ends
Because whats a life
If its without you
I dont want you to feel obligated to be with me
So from now on
Nothing against you
Like you said
How i feel is just how i feel
Ive lost all confidence
Given up
I have nothing left
Im not perfect
And it seems that i was never worth it
Ive grown physically sick
Its grown too tough
A Bottomless pit
Its on my mind
Thoughts of suicide
I wanna leave I've had enough