Let's see roses.
So pretty yet dangerous,
I want one, to be like them.
I grab it with my bare hand.
Blood trickling down my arm as I have the perfection in my hands.
Looking down...
As it wilts with my warm touch...
The rest fades away as I realize it will be gone.
Drip, drip, drip
the sound of my opportunities
when they fall slowly to the ground below
Left to die...
Here I am
I have been here for awhile,
Wondering if I should give you a glimpse of me
Or build a wall
We think too differently
You see logic and numbers
I see colors and life
We are unable to understand each other
I finally let you see a small glimpse of me
I loosen my defenses
Make small holes in my walls
Was it worth it? Maybe not
You push me out
Pretend to listen
You don't understand
Maybe you never will
The tinted glass has lost it's colour
Everything looks so different now
Why do your words hurt so much
Why don't they feel like a joke
Am I the problem
Is it me
The way I act
The way I speak
Or is it you
Who I pampered
You, who I allowed to do anything
The one I made into something so important to me
Which one of us is it
What if it's neither of us
Are we just not that compatible
Maybe we aren't meant for each other
This guilty feeling I can't wash off
Not something I can easily payoff
Closed the door to social life
Tied myself up and for tangled in vines
Maybe this is what I deserve
For not having the nerve
To do things I always wanted to do
And pursuing them without further ado
I dug my own grave, there is nothing to save
This corpse is just rotten flesh and bones
And in my bony hands, my phone
Making a poem with rhymes
Something I haven't done in a while
This lonely corpse continues to spectate
This insignificant being a slave to fate
I think I need to go on medication
But it's not even that severe
There's many other people
Who needs it more than me
This feeling will subside like it always has
I just need to go through it once more
To deal with it in silence once more
Just one more time
Then I can sleep
There's something I'd like to wish
To the people I cherish
At the starless sky I see tonight,
to the lonely rock reflecting light
This is not a goodbye letter
If that will make you feel better
Killing myself won't help me
Or others for that matter
I just wish for whoever reads this
—to look towards the future
Not necessarily in a positive way
But to see you live a bit more futher
Smile
I need to smile
But what if I don't want to smile anymore; what if I want to frown instead?
Hello, I'm back
I dont know why
Maybe I dont want to fall back into the rabbit hole I came out of.
I'm sinking
In this deep, deep ocean
I'm drowning
I make you miserable
Not happy.
Miserable
I'm horrid
I do not deserve to be clean
I was supposed to be dead
But i survived
A young girl sat in class
Reading the handout the teacher gave her
A young boy is throwing paper and calling her names
The teacher doesnt notice
Too busy talking to another student
She tries to ignore him
Its getting louder, in her head
Finally the bell rings
She is allowed to leave
Its the end of the day
She goes outside
The words still sat in her mind
She shakes her head to clear them
She hears the boy and his friends behind her
She tightens her grip on her bag
They shout at her if he can have the homework
The wind blows through the air
The sun shines in the sky
The leaves turn brown and fall to thr ground
Soon it starts to snow
It turns white
The first footstep
The last footstep
The snow angel
My heart
The snow angle
My heart broken, not keeping me warm
Its getting colder and darker
Im getting smaller
Im not seen
Im invisible
Im dissapearing
Im writing a note
Its for you
I wont give you the note
Ill throw it away
In the bin
Its rubbish anyway
I dont want you to see this
It was a goodbye note
But you wont see it
Ill just leave
Like normal
There are things i dont want you to hear
Most of them are about you
The rest of them are about me.
Im gonna say them here
I love you
I hated you
I want to hate you
I need to hate you but i cant
I need to leave this place
I cant
I need to leave you
I cant
I want to die
I want to be free
I cant
I dont want this anymore