When will you see i was always there for you
When will you see me crying in my bed room
When will you see me on my own
When will you see me how i see you
When will you see me staring at you
When will you see me looking at you then at myself and frowning
When will you see me as me and not as just another girl
No, it never happend
It was all a dream
A moment in the blink of an eye
No one else saw but me
You didnt
Nope, never happend
I never knew you
I just knew the side that i thought was you
It was never you
I have the past for you and me
The memories that we have shared so secretly
None of them you will remember
The present is what we have got now and we are wasting it
We are wasting it by not talking
Ignoring one another
The future... i dont think we have one
No we
Its a blank canvas of a shade of white
Like a letter but there are no words to be said
Like i said its a blank canvas
No one knows what the artist is gonna put there until they do
And that artist is me
I think im gonna leave it that shade of white
And move on to the part of the painting
The next picture
thats what i have
the fear of never being good enough
i am constantly reminded of my flaws
not the good things
never called for awards
never anything
never reconised
always pushed aside
no one pays attention
always look down on
never looked up at
atelaphobia
thats what i have
because I love you
not because I don't want to
I do
its just you hurt me and I cant stay away from you
its like your the drug bringing me back
keeping me alive
and I need more of you
I cant quit you
I want to hate you
I just cant
I love you,
I know you don't love me back
I wish you did
I'm still confused
I don't know why
you told me clear as day
"I like you"
did I take it the wrong way
did I get my hopes up
did I think to quickly
I love you
you don't love me back
I will never fall for you again
Or maybe i will
Maybe i already have
Maybe its what im telling myself
Maybe thats what i will always tell myself
I have told myself from the first day i fell for you
Never again
who am I to you?
I know what I am
I'm a girl
a stranger
nothing
some random person in your memories a blur
your not that to me
your my best friend
my crush
you are not just a name and a blurred face
you are a person
a good person
and after 6 years I think it is time for me to leave
time for me to let go
I hope there is someone for you
but I'm not going stand in your way
The number that comes to my head when I think of you is 10
That was when I told you that I would always be there for you
I said that because the number 10 is hopefully how old we will stay and never grow up
I wish that was true but that number is always just going to be a number
No matter how hard I try to make it possible
We just keep growing apart
Why does it have to be like this
Its been 6 years
Why cant we see each other
I want to see you
You want to see me
Whats stopping us
I know
Distance
Distance is keeping us apart
Im sorry
I just dont understand anymore
I have secrets that I don't want to share
but maybe I should share them
shout them from the rooftops
scream them aloud
send them flying through the sky as paper planes
because I know you will see them
you will hear and I know that you will be able to feel the pain that I feel
you will find them on the ground and read them
because I'm going to give all of my secrets away
and I will tell you that they are true
but I know you wont believe me
you wont look into my eyes and see the pain
you will just laugh and look away
you don't see my pain
you don't listen and you don't know
but to be honest, I think that's my fault
I wish I were a butterfly
a beautiful and majestic creature
they don't realize
they don't realize the pain that we are in
butterflies see us when we are happy
but moths they see us when we are sad
they see us when we are crying
they see us when we are alone at three am and we are a mess
they are there to say 'I'm here for you, I know how you feel'
its like they know
they know how we feel its because they have been there
because moths are the sad side of butterflies
and butterflies are the happy side of moths
and we are in-between