You will never know
You will never understand
You will never see me like I see you
You will never see me in my light hour
You will never have an idea of how I feel
You will never see me how i see you
You will never love me how I love you
The darkness has not gone yet
The darkness hasn't gone because I can't get you out of my head
You bring pain and fear
You bring darkness
I want it to stop
It won't
Until we forget each other
But the thing is
I don't want to forget you
And I don't know why
At the end of the tunnel is supposed to be light
I haven't got light
I have an endless tunnel
It's called life
Life is an endless game
It doesn't stop when things get tough
I have to keep going
But at the end of my tunnel will be rubble and dust
I'm hoping one thing though
Will you be there to catch me before I fall?
Will you?
The pain you made me feel
It's unbareable
I hate it
But it has never gone away
Because I know your there
Waiting
Watching me cry myself to sleep
And you can't do anything about it because your on the opposite side of this glass wall
We are separated and that's that
If only I could remember the small details
If only I could remember the things you said
If only I could be me in front of everyone else like I do in front of you
If only I wasn't to scared to hug you then maybe I could've gotten a proper goodbye
If only I was able to flaunt who I am in front of those bullies and make them seem smaller and more of a loser than me
If only I could be me
If only I could stand in front of my crush and not shout something stupid and wave my hands in the air and run away
If only I could say my opinions and not be ridiculed by people who don't understand the things I do
If only
If only
Sometimes I want to be wanted
Sometimes I want to right
Sometimes I want to be happy
Sometimes I don't know how to cope
Sometimes I want to do something on my own
Sometimes I don't need help
Sometimes I want to be found
Sometimes I want to be fought for
Sometimes I need a shoulder to cry on
Sometimes I need you
Sometimes I'm done with life
Almost is a sad word
I almost had you
I almost wanted to forget you
I almost wanted to be loved by you
I almost got better
You almost loved me
You almost made it
You almost said goodbye to me
But
You never took the risk
And you never wanted it to end up like this
Did you?
I wished for this
I wished for the rejection that came with you
I wished you would text me
You probably threw it away
I expected that
I expected you to never talk to me again and just leave me all alone again
I wished for that rejection
Obviously
It was clear in your eyes that you'd reject me
What was I thinking
Why did I wish for this
Why did I wish for you.
To me rain is soothing
To me the rain tells my mood
To me the rain says 'I know how you feel'
Its like the rain is the tears i can't cry or in fact won't cry.
Those are the tears i know that if I cry I will be classed as weak
My weakness is you
Not anything else
You are my weakness
My memories start with you
Seeing you smile in the sun
Us selling lemonade to neighbours outside
Us swimming and playing games in the pool
Us not knowing what we are doing but instead of thinking we just have fun
Us walking to school
Us playing pokémon on your DS
You sitting there on the climbing frame at school with your friends and me sat alone trying not to cry and be even more like a loser
Without you spring wouldn't be springy
Without you going away would be leaving
Without you summer would be cold
Without you loneliness would be lonelier
Without you the words that say will get to me
Without you they will break me
Without you I wouldn't be able to move without scuffing my feet
Without you I wouldn't be me
Without you all of the memories will come flooding back and make me cry
Without you I wouldn't be able to live.
Little leaf burnt away.
A vengeful creature lights you like a cigarette in a green ashtray.
It burnt the forest
Burnt it down...
and now you walk on broken ground.
little leaves peek through the ash;
your heart glued with sap like broken glass fragile bones like porcelain.