A simple word.
That means a lot.
That means the world.
That means nothing.
That perfect dream.
That perfect wish.
That perfect feeling.
The perfect demise.
She looked up at the sky
And smiled softly like the child
She wished that she could be,
Then added the dream to the pile.
She closed her pale blue eyes
And although she wants to live,
She really wants to die.
But she knows she must survive.
She hoped that she could see
The moment time would freeze.
She opened up her eyes and leaned against the tree
But wanted her hair to feel the cooling breeze.
So there went the lonely girl,
With that perfect flowing twirl.
all the world’s a stage
with omnipresent cell phones
whatever you do doesn’t count
until you take the picture
or make the video and post it
to your friends who become your audience
to the extent they are interested
parents are becoming directors
and kids poseurs
and then they switch
OK I’ll be the parent now
of course we have known all along
that we wear masks to get through the day
and invent our roles as we go along
largely catering to what our audience expects
but when the affable salutatorian
you are moving at speeds i can’t even imagine
soon i will catch up
but at the moment i am 1000 miles away from you mentally
and you think i’m at the door ready to move
but i am not
i need time because the speed of you is beyond my reach
i need to focus on what is needed and what to do to make this gap much smaller
so give me time because the speed of you is beyond my reach
i can’t figure out why you think i’m with you but i can’t even see you, i hate that i have to explain this but i think you are about to forget me
just take this one leap across this gap and help me make it so the the speeds you are going are at least even imaginable
i wake up, look around and all i see are a couple frowns
i stretch my toes, stretch my legs, and crack my neck
i look down at my feet and i realize i don’t make a print
i start to fall into darkness, where every turn is the wrong path
i wake up look around and all i still see is a couple of frowns
i can’t scratch em, i cant drink em, all away
they are always just there to mock me from the back
i can’t shake em, i just can’t shake em
i feel them poking on my shoulder, just so i take a look at there face
but there face is just darkness, no other feeling besides sadness
the frowning faces soon close in
now my thoughts are all just sins
the way i walk, the way i talk, are never my own intentions
There are people out there
Right now
That are happy
Not just in pieces
Or here and there
But as a whole
They feel like they are okay
They are capable
Of doing what they want
Without spending an hour or two
Just lying in bed
Waiting for vials of neurochemicals
To charge up their brain
Or sleeping enough to get lost
In the paralyzed rooms
Of their own inner conflicts
Nightly ritual
Determined his worth
Against the borderline backdrop
Of the vengeful saltwater eyelids
That dominated his landscape-
The spotted hyena cackling
Chattering back
Telling him how to navigate a field devoid Of mindfulness or remorse
Telling him to hang out
Or hang up
Up against the ceiling fan
Oscillation
Spinning around
Circles
Cycles
Cycles of evening
bleed me dry
of vodka blood
for failures in
this life
become
obvious
and eat
eat away
at what I really should have been
Narrow teeth of shouting mouths
Rest your weary hearts
The solemn sighs
Of better men
Have set us free from fear-
Your homes all marched away
Stirring with the tides
Far flung archipelagos
Soon to be our homelands
Once were we strangers
Now we live alone
Kind smiles remind me
Unfortunately
Of the past year which
Unfortunately
Was built off the dreams I had in stasis
Dreams laced with chemical aftershock
Taste diluted
Weeping stunted
Growth shunned
Barbaric fabrics
Wound tightly around my mouth
Sharpened barbs stabbing my cheek flesh
Underground intentions making purple lines
Fissuring scars
Transparent manifestations that
Unfortunately
My roots dug into the ground from which I grew,
Buried beneath a hundred years of rotting dirt,
all of my color seems to fade more every day,
Cause the sun doesn't shine on me like it used to
And all I do is hurt, Cause the storm won't go away,
Just Wreck into me,
like I'm your favorite maple tree
You can try to set me free
But this hole ive dugs to deep,
And you're just moving to fast
For my branches to keep
The soil that suffocates me, is cracked and dried
The only water I seem to get anymore is the rain
The flowers don't bloom and they've all died
As I continue to rot in the field where I've always lied
This meadow was once filled with vibrance, Now all it has is pain
Memories of yesterday
Here she held faerie parties
Here she had tea
Then her world was shattered
Broken chairs and rusty tables
Remnants of her childhood
Here she danced joyously
Here she lived
Then he came
He came and ended it all
He came and stole away her innocence
He came
He chased her
He got bored
And he left