I knew a bot who liked to draw
He drew pictures that nobody saw
Be was most artistic late at night
In the bathroom and out sight
He kept a secret that no one knew
he didn't tell a soul and his gallery grew
His drawings were sident no paper or pen
But he needed a bandage now and again
We stood by the river under the stats
He rolled up his sleeves and showed me his scars
He felt embarrassed and liked down at his shoe
Then I rolled up my sleeves and whispered 'I draw too.'
I touched her hands and
Said they were cold;
Then she said:
you haven't touched my heart darling
I dont believe you Love me.
Not from this view or look on your eyes.
Maybe is my heart, this fear in my path.
Or maybe is my past, such tragedy, a trauma that lasts.
I dont believe you Love me.
Not by the embrace, not by your beating heart.
Maybe is my future, untold and unseen,
The reflection of anxiety that covers me to my feet.
I dont believe you Love me, because I dont even Love myself.
Such hipocresy, such lie, such dangerous compass.
If I cant even do that, why would you settle for Love,
When toxins are all that are releasing, this tragic Song.
She already told you,
She were there,
Always there,
Waiting for you,
Even there's cloudy, rain or sun.
Stay beside you,
Smile even she know that you hold that knife,
Bleeding her heart a thousand times,
She still okay,
Smile even it's hurt enough.
She hold your hand,
She hug you tight,
She ask you to stay alive,
She hears all your thought till 2 and 3 am,
She check your condition,
All she do is to make you feel better,
Look at my face.
Do i look happy?
Do i feel better?
Read my face.
Read it until you get the answer.
The answer why i faking all of my emotions infront of you.
Read.
If one day.
I look into your eyes.
Hug you tight.
Clingy with you for the last time.
Hold your hand.
Crying infront of you.
Touch your hair.
And said that i love you.
Please.
Don't said anything.
I really mean it.
Sincerely from my heart.
I truly love you.
I'm sorry.
Sorry because i love you and i am the cause you are in pain.
Sorry.
Roses are red.
Hold up, I mean.
Roses were red.
Violents were blue.
Honey so sweet.
And so are you.
But now, the roses are shriveled.
The violents aren't blue.
All the flowers are gone.
And i will be too.
Everyone thinks that I have gotten better.
I haven't!
I'm just gotten better in hiding it.
With a smile on my face.
And laughing.
But deep in my heart.
Its still aching.
Hurting.
Don't you know?
I am in pain.
Mental illness, stigmatized, discriminated.
You try to find help.
Scream too loud, you're call an attention seeker.
Keeping all inside.
You're scold for, "keeping it all inside".
Tell them what you feel, they said.
Don't over-think.
Don't over-react.
Stop being weak.
Improve your strength.
Pray, ask God for help. They say.
Have I not ask God for help enough?
Sometimes, All i want is.
Someone who would listen.
Lend your ears.
Give me your hug.
When i met her.
I wish i could be her soulmate.
I smile and laugh with her.
In class, the teacher ask us.
Making a short story about your special person.
I'm happy.
I write about her.
All about her.
Once the teacher ask us to tell the story.
She volunteer for it.
But when she talk.
I realize.
I was not in her story.
Do you ever play loud music?
Lie down on your bed.
Stare at the ceiling.
Close your eyes.
Because you feel stress.
Depressed.
And tired.
You come to me.
Ask me.
What the worst of crying.
I smile with laughter.
You wanna know?
That is the silent one.
Where you have to hold your breath.
Grab your tears.
To making it keep quiet and safe.
So what about you?