If love has been unfair,
Then I have too,
To search for it in foreign hearts
And leave mine desolate,
As though it was incapable without another's touch.
My heart is strained from chasing yours everywhere.
I've prepared myself for the pain,
The pain I know you'll bring,
When your stopwatch stops its ticking,
And your bags are neatly stacked;
When you turn on your way out to state it won't have worked out,
Ripping off the bandaid as you turn off all the lights,
When my heart dissolves in darkness as your footsteps fade away.
If I ever write about you, what will I say?
That you were the one?
The one I should never have met,
Because everyone after has to battle with the after taste of our love.
What will I say?
I'm sorry I let you hurt me;
I'm sorry that every time they say they love me,
I hear your voice,
See your face
And it clouds me,
It makes me disbelieve.
I'm sorry I thought you were the one so I can't think they are too.
There are no stories in my heart where the hero triumphs,
Just theatric horror where you call to the void,
in hopes help comes running.
That is how my love is;
A deflated ball still bent on bouncing.
I don't care.
Well, that's a lie,
It's all I really want.
I'm fine.
Also a lie,
I'm falling apart inside.
It's not you, it's me.
Don't act like it's true,
We both know that old code.
I don't want it.
But you don't see the glance
I steal as we walk away.
I read the terms and conditions.
No, I didn't,
But maybe I should've.
Maybe if I had, my pillow would stay dry.
See that girl in the corner,
Reading by herself?
She looks focussed on the story,
But she watches everyone else.
See that girl at the table,
Working all alone?
Her eyes are on the paper,
But her mind is on you all.
See that girl on the grass,
Eating with her shadow?
She draws patterns in the dirt,
But she sees you all, you know.
See that girl over there?
She’s waiting for a friend,
For someone to look past her flaws,
To be there in the end.
Today the rain doesn’t stop,
The river begins to rise,
And everybody packs.
The water is getting near,
We all flee for safer ground,
And everyone is worried.
The water is at our homes,
We can no longer see them,
And there’s nothing we can do.
The rain no longer comes down,
The water has receded,
And we assess the damage.
The water was meant to clean,
It has cleaned our homes away,
And we have nowhere to live.
We needed the rain dearly,
First I feel the anger,
Rise up from deep within,
Why aren't I treated fairly?
It's just the colour of my skin.
My anger soon subsides,
And I begin to cry,
I know I'm treated different,
But I just don't know why.
The tears gradually slow,
And I wipe them away,
My smile doesn't look real,
But no one cares anyway.
I want to ask the question,
But my mum and dad aren't home,
They always have to work,
So I ponder it alone.
if i could just
turn back time
for this past few months
i wont be doing this
i wont try to get close to you
i wont try to get to know you
because now
i just couldnt stop
falling more into you
my heart can't stand this
and its hurt
because sometimes
you dont seem to care
you dont seem to understand what i feel
you dont seem to feel what i feel
i was blurred by my own feeling
sometimes
i pity myself
for having such
a big heart
to people who don't
do the same to me.
just like they said
"not everyone has the same heart like you"
i guess i understand that now
the one who didn't
even care for me,
the one who weren't
really there when
i need them the most,
the one who makes me
feel down
i wish i could be there for you
when you go through hard times.
eventhough we're not always
talking to each other anymore,
& eventhough we,
didn't own each other.
i wish you can let me know,
if there's one day
you don't feel fine at all
when you're at your lowest
and when you ever need me
i hope you know
i'm always there.
it's just now,
i seem to be in silence
because i know i'm not needed.