hey dad, how are you?
hey dad
hey, can you spare some
cash?
i need a job. i need to feed Anna
and the kids.
no one will hire a drop-out
how much more a drop-out coke head
hell, i'd scrape shit for a hundred pesos
just please help me outwhatever i did before, i'm sorry
i was fucking young and
thought myself INVINCIBLE.
i mean, i have no job
Anna wants a divorce unless
i make a quick buck.
help me out please.
when i was a child,
days were longer,
friendships were stronger,
parents were giants,
siblings were friends and enemies,
school was exciting,
teachers taught riming,
boys had cooties,
teens were moody,
i laughed at immature things,
and played many games,
i thought naps were evil,
and imagination was better than anything in the universe,
the world was a playground,
lying was my own version of story telling,
I hated reading,
i once knew a boy who filed my heart with joy,
he made me laugh,
he made me cry,
and he'd always say "you and i",
never us,
it didn't matter much,
he still had my heart clutched,
in his palms,
not wanting to let go,
i wish he did though,
i wish he'd just let go,
and not gone away,
leaving me to wonder why he didn't stay,
why he never asked me to run away,
to be with him,
alone in the world,
fear, frighten.
everyday i feel these things.
lost, betrayed.
i know very well i am.
sad, alone.
my never ending emptiness inside.
hatred, anger.
the only two things that keeps me going.
there she goes,
the girl they all hate,
she's just to oblivious to hear what they say,
she calls them her friends,
even when they say they are not,
she just can't see that they hated her from the start,
they tried to tell her,
even too her face,
but she brushed them all off with grace,
or rather oblivion,
she never saw she ment nothing to them,
but there she went the girl in oblivion,
and i use 'went' very loosely and say,
she simply did find out one day,
her heart was broken into thousands of pieces,
but non of them could careless,
You know that feeling
You get when you think that
Everyone is against you?
That sort of small, timid feeling that
Makes you wary of doing anything
That might upset
Every single person around you?
When you finally throw in the towel and
Just give up?
Yeah, it comes and goes.
What are we to do if it stays?
How do you shake it?
I've got a better question...
Do you know how it begins?
I imagined a better world than this
A world not shrouded in darkness and deceit.
Kids and adults alike dying left and right.
I imagined a better safer world with less things to fear.
I fear people to death,
I am paralyzed when someone wants to talk to me
for fear I will be in trouble or worse.
I thrive in darkness because no one can see me hide and cry.
You never really cared.
You just liked seeing me shatter.
A girl made of glass will only stand for so long
before a crack forms and she crashes.
You wanted to break me down but I'm still standing
I am bulletproof, shatterproof,
Bully proof.
You see whats on the surface,
A smile, a carefree spirit.
No one knows what lies below,
A deep remorse,
A hate for life,
A prayer for escape...
Lying just a little farther below
Is a broken soul.
She waits for it to stop.
Darkness and fear
Shrouded in a sea
Of misery and despair.
A mask hides what
She really feels,
A mask she struggles to
Hold.
My daughter died a week after the bomb,
its image blistered in her crow-black eyes.
Two days later my son found me.
Keloids covered his back and skull.
He crawled into bed and did not rise.
Three days passed, and he vomited blood.
“Though I am dying,” he said,
“you will live a healthy, ordinary life.”
The smoke his body made was white…
(Minyo echoes with the cry of a deer,
caught in a trap in the forest…)
It's just another week
Just one more week one week only
I repeat to myself every day
It's just another week a single week
One more week and that goes by
It's just another week This week never ends
I am made for you
You are don't made for me
I hope without hopeness
Without certain
I wait as a poor religious man waits for the glories of Heaven
I hope as like the suicidal hope to silence the pain
I wait with the heart and with arms wide open
Knowing that my body will warm you in the cold
I expect nothing but your presence
I know i'm yours
So much that I know you are not mine
Because I was made for you
But,
You were not made for me
One day I said "please, hold my hands
Promise don't forget me"
I confessed my fears, my dreams, my love
You said "Yes, of course I'll remember of us"
You said "No problem, I feel the same to you"
I believed in every word, every confession
I had hopes
From time to time you returned saying again "I love you so much, no doubt"
And I dreamed
I made plans for us
You repeat again and again "I love you my baby, no doubt"
Suddenly, you disappear
No replied to my messages
And I think "Oh no, he has a problem! What does he doing?!"
I worried with your health
Suddenly, you return