the year is rushung towards the end.
the year when she steps out of this place called school and leaves everything and never comes back.
as happy as everyone is,
she can't find the way to make the corners of her lips turn into a smile.
she doesn't like it here, but what can you do when without wanting it you find yourself attached to something.
as sad as she always finds herself to be, she enjoys some of her time here. she has some memories she'll always keep within herself.
some memories she loves and
wants to go back to.
with her classmates, wich she has known since they were little kids, she has spend a lot of time here.
how can they just leave and not look back?
she can't do it.
"march 13th, 2020"
-sun, 28 feb
the clock strikes 1:55
and she knows how soon it is
"so one year anniversary aha"
it'll soon be a year since her life was thrown around
it'll be a year since she's been here
here in her four walls
staring
wasting away
she's been alone for so long she's starting to find it comforting
though,
she knows it's like a trap
like salt that looks so sweet from
side
but once you give into,
she felt so lonely.
so empty.
she wanted to be happy. to laugh, smile with no worries. wich she hadn't done for years.
as she thinks about it, she only feels more emptieness,
she can't remember a time where she had no worries. she just wanted to live a simple life.
no tears.
no pain.
My cuts and bruises are special
As the Devil loves them all.
I mean not to sound edgy
You see, my body has some gull.
It never heals my scrapes
Even if I tape them shut.
The moment that it's taken off
It's clear I have no luck.
Days and weeks and months and years
And yet they never change.
And while they range in size and shape
The pain is all the same.
Even worse, they always bleed
No matter what I do.
Warm crimson flows out when I wake
Seemingly on cue.
Behind the brown stars,
Wheels are turning;
Cogs are grinding.
She considers the conversation
Skeptically.
She criticizes me.
My rebuttal is weak.
Her sarcasm bites.
Rather than biting back,
I give way.
I acknowledge her dominance
And lock my own eyes
With her brown stars.
hello!! anybody there?
i was just wondering , how dusty this place is
been awhile right?
people just came and go again
like my feelings
i may got happy,angry,sad at the same time
i'm just an untitled book that has been forgotten
Awake by the darkness of night
Succumbed to fears
That belong not
Before the longing of sight
I see not thy tears
Of joyful moments
Wishing i be amongst the stars
Fading away before sunrise
Smiling as victory be mine
But the heart lies not
Of grief nor pain
Ached beats resonating their own form of darkness
Emanating from cracks
That cannot mend...
Many mothers have I
Many lives I lived
I did not ask for this existence
People want me shivved
I'm the color of sickness
I sicken even me
The only grace I have
Is when people can't see
Only silence answers my calls
I need someone
Red runs down my hands
Mercy for me is none
My creator dies
I'm left with my cries
Where the only thing shown is the reflection of what's inside
And my insides show nothing good
Just shows all of the hurt and pain that I feel
And I hate that reflected back in my face
Like a slap
And it hurts every time I see it
I hate mirrors
I try to look for something good
Something positive
But all I see is black
Blackness staring right back at me
Like a soulless abyss
I wonder if I will get devoured there
How can I write
With no words?
How can I sing
With no voice?
How can I play music
Without an instrument?
How can I create
With no creativity?
How can I?
How can I?
The world is crazy
And I have nothing left
So how can I do anything?
When everything is gone
Everything is different
Everything has changed
Why when you love
It sticks and pokes
Prods and chokes
Stripping me bare
My very essence gone
Unrecognizable to me
And leaving me wondering
"Is this how love's supposed to be?"
And I wonder if they miss us,
Now wouldn't that be funny?
Now that we're without them
We can hardly stand ourselves.
Well it's funny when they're here
How we take for granted
The way they taste, the way they feel,
Their sight, their smell, their sound.
And it's funny when they're gone
Just how bad we miss them
And how life can be so empty
When they're not around.