She was never perfect
Just wanting to be
There was no flowery mist
anymore
Just some transparent air
Most people want to exist, but she doesn't care
anymore
Missing being flowy is just a waste of time
at this point
That's why she won't be missed
today was a pretty day.
i didn't try hard to be delight.
every thing was good.
i smiled a lot.
i did not fake it.
i ain't think about sad stuff.
yes, i was happy.
but, no.
i lied.
i feel empty
and ache all over my body,
my mind, my soul.
my back is scratched
for sleeping in the cold street.
my thigh is bleeding
and the blood
is brimming a big hole
of my dark soul.
oh,
i am between
alive and
deceased.
And in the street people stop and take shelter
I like it when it rains hard
And I watch it through my window
I like it when it rains hard
And I can stand beneath dark skies pouring rains
And I cry
And no one will notice
I like it when it rains hard
And my insecurities fade away
I like it when it rains hard
I will run outside and walk for an hour or two
Away from home
To look for rainbow
I like it when it rains hard
And it is so cold
Like I feel
she took the painkiller
and drank a bottle of water
thought all the screams that stuck on her head
would go away as she laid on bed
her eyes were so black
and her soul was pale blue
she was there, alone in the dark
but not a single body knew
she smiled, but ripped
she kept all the wounds, and not ever lived
sometimes i feel im the happiest o earth
nothing can or will stop my smiles
then it goes
i don't know where though
I need it back
there is a stranger in the photo,
long brown hair,
curvy body,
boobs every girl wishes for,
and a mind that doesn't match
my mind,
my body,
they are different.
not talking,
just existing.
and i'm stuck,
in their argument.
the poor soul,
dealing with their shit.
I don't know what's wrong with me,
I can't stand,
Can't walk,
I can't do what I love,
I can't run through the fields,
Ones with the flowers and the bees,
So I sit,
I sit and wait till I can,
But I don't know when I can,
I dont know if I can,
Cause I've been waiting for months,
And I still can't.
Since he died
I've felt a pit inside
I'm not sure why it's there
Or if its friendly
But everything seems more scary
I'm scared
I'm sad but he wouldn't want me to be
So I act like I'm fine
is my body my own
or is it controlled by someone
and im in the passenger seat
cause why was i made like this
a girl with boobs
not a boy with a flat chest
i envy them,
all of them
She was a dreamer,
so she dreamt.
she dreamed of it all,
hurting and breaking her heart
more and more
with every thought
she dreamt of the things she could be,
of the relationships she could have,
dreaming of peoples promises not so-broken
it was her birthday
and she said she didn't care
but did she mean it?
,no
she cared,
and, oh, she cared so much.
and so she dreamt and hoped