Not a day goes by when I don't remember you
I remember when I was younger
I questioned your scars
I didn't know much
But I knew at one point they must have hurt
I remember when you were Santa,
And I told everyone you weren't really him
I caused so much trouble - and they all cried
But you still took me in your arms
As If I'd done nothing wrong
I remember you teaching me to kick a football
You were the only one who could.
And the stories of the different footballers,
You had said you helped with their sore muscles.
I remember When I was losing on of my first teeth
You showed me how it could wiggle
With wings so very fragile.
Flutters gracefully
Without sound
So delicate,
Never to be touched
For fear of breaking
Longs for warm comfort
Of a hug
But never to get one
Until it's cold and dead
How beautiful am I
She says
Then why
My friends
Do I never get loving affection?
The harder I gasp
the less I can breathe,
the more I sink in
the more clenched it feels
this source of life put in me,
as if it's right to hurt the way it did.
Will I never learn to not grab the rose by its thorns?
Will I ever just grab the bull by its horns?
May there be a clear sky for those who carry no worries in their hearts,
whilst the storm's ringing in my ears
-a ferocious sound of thunder clashing and lightning smashing-
loud enough only for me to hear;
for me to resist it
with no power left,
letting me fall
down, down.
As the deadly breeze sweeps the Earth again,
as it sweeps and takes dear life away,
as I hear the breeze vanishing in thin air...
I'm lost.
I wouldn't say that I understand,
I wouldn't say that I feel the pain,
I wouldn't want to be another phony in the way,
Because I'm lost.
It seems as if the breeze holds me down,
it seems as if I'm bound,
it seems I can't move towards a helping arm...
I'm lost.
Please understand, I ask no more than this,
that I can't live, live with what keeps me tied up in knots,
with hurt and as others, with all due respect, live.
I don't understand how I feel,
Who even cares that we didn't light up the candles;
Who even cares that we're not dining together;
Who even cares about a small picture in the corner and on it,
a pair of bright eyes looking at us?
Who even cares 'bout the unanswered 'Goodbyes';
Who even cares about the unheard 'By your sides';
Who even cares about the shattering sound in each day and of no sign of a worry once it may end?
Who even cares that all this only drifts anchored ships apart;
Who even cares that it sets the sun faster and faster towards each night?
No one cares that it brings a small heart to the verge of capacity and disables its might.
Illusive whiteness covers the ground
on the happiest of them all.
Fantastic. Festive. Familiar.
Where there are joyful faces, lit with expectation, lit with innocence and hope.
Where there is wishful thinking and dreaming, perhaps, for the daylight to make all their needs into flesh and blood.
Flesh. And blood.
On the happiest of them all, the fog, the dim light, the cold silent darkness is subduing the image.
My image.
On the happiest of them all, my bones ache and my muscles are tearing.
I apologize.
For you to have remembered the features of my face.
For kind, soft words we've spoken so many times.
For being the representation of a lot less than you deserve.
I apologize.
I'm going away,
I'll send a letter one day,
don't tell her just yet
or at least not today.
I'm going away
to discover my life's destined way.
I won't mind the long drive, I bet
I will survive at least till May.
Many words I know I will get
about the pain and the sorrow and the wrong I have made,
but don't tell her just yet.
I'll send a letter one day
and there will be tears running down the cheeks,
but Please!... Not today.
Focus. Flashlight. Snapshot.
Life treats us unkind,
we all suffer from no might,
there's no escape... no, there's not.
Hiding and seeking,
playing games when we were young,
showing each other tongues;
When our eyes should be shut, we were peeking.
When we should be peeking, our eyes are now shut,
our tongues have changed into fingers,
that magical feeling that lingers
is gone with lots of hiding, yet no seeking. Cut.
Time is fleeting in its passing
And does jolt the memory
Recalling images of long ago
When life seemed to stretch far away
Safe from Death’s stalking shadow.
As a child I thought as a child
Seeing only bright summer days
With friendships I thought to last forever
And parents who could never die
Old age a distant foreign land.
Now walking the land of the elderly
Old bones and old man troubles
Wondering how long before Death
No longer stalks but claims me
And time is no longer fleeting and stops.
Alone, I walk fields and woods we loved
Seeing you with every step
Hearing your laughter
Smelling you sweet as a flower
Keep you safe within my heart.
Years slipped bye so fast
Old age slowing down my pace
Hair white as snow
Thoughts focused upon
Memories we shared
And I keep you safe within my heart.
How do you say what you feel?
Express emotions that you don't even fully comprehend,
your love is a bliss and i never want it to end.
But when push comes to shove,
you decide we weren't strong enough.
without my say you did it your way.
You say it's the worst mistake you've ever made,
yet your decision doesn't change.
So then it's settled.
Just like that.
Months of our hard work tossed to the side;
discarded like it was nothing.
But i know i know it's not your fault.
So in the end i say okay, and we go about out days.
Letting our love drift away.
I'm complacent.
stuck in the same spot.
never growing. never progressing.
cornered.
All of the walls i've built as protection are slowly crumbling,
Like they were never there in the first place.
i scramble to put the pieces of my life back together
but it's no use.
shattered.
everything i thought i knew went up in a cloud of smoke.
now polluting the earth.
my grey cloud is now yours.