I watched my world collapse around me
With no one to reach out to
I collapsed with the world
I watched myself disinergrate
Into a sea of people
Unnoticable
Not cared about
Not missed by others
No one notices she left
That girl died inside of her
The pain is gone
Replaced with a numb empty feeling
One that can't be fixed
Not by her
She tries so hard everyday to fight the demons inside of her
But she knows she's going to give in
I run from my feelings
Literally
I run down the road
As fast as I can
Until I feel like I'm gonna break down
It all started with you
As it always does
I wish I could run away
And turn back time
I wish I would have never met you
You changed me so much
I'm sure I'll never get myself back
But I don't want that girl back
I'm stronger now
But I still miss her
I compared him to you
You started to remember today
I don't understand how you forgot
I know it was and will never be enough
But how do you just forget
All the i love you's
All of the sweet surrenders
You forgot it all
And left
You couldn't help
I wasn't anything to you
I'm still not
We used to mean something
Now I don't even know if you
Feel the same
I started going back
To my old ways
You want to quit
You try over and over
But something is always holding you back
Oh yeah
Him
You can't do that to him
Stay strong for him
Which isn't fair
He hurt you for what seems like years
Using your weaknesses
And secrets against you
He left you
He didn't care
But you stay strong for him
You don't want him to feel your pain
You never give up
You said you had too much on your plate
For this
For our friendship
So why didn't you let me go
You responded to me
I took the chance
To tell you what's wrong
And what did you say?
I have enough on my plate
You always seem like you don't care
But you said
You don't want me to cry over you
You said you'd help to fix this
To do that, you have to care.
You don't remember my past
The thing that made me me
I remember your past
From you're parent's divorce
To chess club
I remember every single little detail
Because you mean something
You don't remember me or my past
Does that mean i mean nothing
My past is full of you
You're a part of me
And you can't remember a single detail
How is that fair
We were best friends
You used to love me
Now i mean nothing
I was always happy
I didn't hide my sobs at night
Or cry in the shower
Pretend I'm happy
Or even fake a smile
Once upon a time
Everybody knew me
Now only few know the real me
Once upon a time
I didn't need someone to make me happy
Once upon a time
I actually liked who I am
Once upon a time
I didn't fake a laugh
Now I'm sitting here
Wishing this was a fairy tale
You let me
Contemplate killing myself
You wouldn't have cared
If i did
It doesn't matter to you
Not anymore
You haven't cared in a while
I can't deny that it hurts
But knowing you wouldn't care
Is like that final blow
Only this time
It's you hitting me
Not saving me
You're always busy
There's no time anymore
I guess it makes sense
It's been 3 years
Since we last saw each other
We've been best friends for almost 8
I guess things just fade away
It's okay I guess
There will still be the occasional text
But it's not the same
It hasn't been
We don't need each other anymore
We moved on I guess
Yeah I'm not gunna lie it stings
But I guess some things are better
Left in the past
You promised not to leave
The stakes are very high
We both know what will happen
If you leave
I'll be crushed
You won't know
You'll be okay
You won't have to deal with me
And my insecurities
You'll be popular
You won't have to worry about your reputation
You won't have to worry at all
Not about making me happy
Not about me being alright
Not about me at all
I'm a lot of work
You turned around and left
Like all the time we spent together
All the secrets we shared
All the nights we stayed up laughing
Didn't mean anything at all
I'm questioning if you ever cared
How could you let one little fight
Destroy a lifetime of memories
How could you leave
Was talking twenty four seven not enough
Or maybe was it because I fell for him
Because i still trusted him
Even when you hated him
Was talking about you
And your problems not enough
Was me giving all of me to you not enough
You're always invisible
Maybe not all of you
But bits and pieces are
There's always more of you
Than what meets the eyes
There's always more emotion
Than your heart can take
There's always more tears
Than your eyes can hold in
You're always invisible
Even to the person who knows you best
They take a stab at you
Over and over again
Eventually they forget who you really are
The look you in the eye and miss your pain
They miss the quiver in your voice