I let you back in
And you're trying to leave
It hasn't been a day
And you're already tired of me
I get that I'm not her
I don't have the blonde hair
The brown eyes
Or the slim figure
I may have made mistakes
But I care about you
I let you in after all
The hurt you've caused
I let you you know all my fears
My hopes
My plans
My goals
I'm the girl who's a rental car
Nobody ever thinks of me first
I'm that second thought girl
The one who nobody pays attention to when she does something great
But when I make a mistake everyone hates me
I'm the third wheel
I have to work so hard
To even get noticed
Even when I do it's not for the right reasons
I've been thinking about moving back
Because lately it seems like nobody here actually cares
Or they only do when they feel like it
If I move back
At least I won't always be a third wheel
I'm that girl that everybody pairs up with on projects because she's smart
Not because they want to
Oh look she fucks up everything
Never is anything she does right
In any one's mind
She wants to go home
To hide in the shadows
To most importantly
Be herself
She's so tired of pleasing others
But not herself
She deserves to be happy too
Doesn't she
She doesn't fuck everything up
You just don't know her
The demons inside of her
Tearing her apart
So when you throw your words
Cry along if you feel like everyone is going to leave you
Like you're never good up
Like you can't do anything right
That eventually everybody will notice that you're a horrible person
That they'll figure out that you're a third wheel anyways
Cry along if you feel like you could just be replaced in a blink of the eye
Like you can never stay happy
Like you don't deserve to be happy
That it doesn't matter if you are
Because the most important person in your life is and that's all that matters
Cry along if you don't love yourself
That you see all your flaws
And you wonder why anyone can love you
Cry along if you're just like me.
Night is so much better than day.
All the skeletons come out of their closets and the lightning bugs are free.
I'm alone!
I can mess with my hair,
Experiment with microwave s'mores (which I don't exactly recommend),
And play any of my instruments as poorly as I desire.
The problem is,
I'm alone.
I'm not scared of the dark,
But I am scared of myself.
I've been tortured by my own head in the loudest and quietest environments.
There's no way to escape that.
I've been good.
I'm taking my pills,
I'm being less sarcastic and cold,
And I try in my classes.
I tired to love her,
Even if it just had to be in the dark.
She may have said no,
But that girl is still a work of art.
She lost her religion,
And her parents too.
I'll still be there for her,
And I could never say
Her affection is overdue.
He tries to love me
And I can't say no.
I know what it feels like,
Alone in the cold.
He deserves better,
And I don't think I love him like that,
But karma might hit me back.
At the opera
I was hit with a type of sadness I haven't felt in a long time.
It was awful.
I ate
And ate
After feeling okay for a while.
On the way back
I found myself alone in a single seat at the far end of the bus.
I spent the hour drive turned around, looking out the mud-caked window.
I waved at all the people behind us when the brake lights illuminated their faces with a glowing red light.
I didn't get one response.
Maybe they didn't see me in the dark.
Or maybe they didn't care.
As we traveled down the highway, the streetlights were all burned out.
Headlights of people that followed the bus for several miles faded in the distance.
It was like losing friends in a way.
The candle flame stands
Naked and shivering
In the cool night air
A droplet of wax falls
Not unlike the tears
That brim in my eyes
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And perhaps so are you,
But the roses have wilted,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowls are empty,
And your wrists are stained red,
The sun isn't shining,
The sky isn't clear,
There's no silver lining,
Because you're no longer here,
Rain keeps on pouring,
There's no end in sight,
You're laying there frozen,
So far from the light,
What if I told you
I wanted to die?
That I'm tired of living
Of being alive?
What if I said
It gets worse at night?
The thoughts get louder
And nothing is right.
What if I lied
And said everything was alright?
No I'm not crying,
I swear I'm alright.
What if I died?
I doubt you'd even cry.
Would you even care
If I took my own life?
Silly little girl,
Don't fool yourself,
They've seen your scars,
Just don't want to help,
Little do they know,
How much could change,
With three little words,
"Are you okay?"
I knew this boy who liked to draw
He drew pictures that no body saw
He was most artistic late at night
In the bathroom, out of sight
He kept a secret no one knew
He didn't tell a soul, and his gallery grew
His drawings were different, no paper or pen
But need a bandage every now and again
We stood by the river under the stars
He rolled up his sleeves and showed me his scars
He felt embarrassed and looked down at his shoes
Then I rolled up my sleeves and whispered "I draw too"