I walked the halls within my mind,
I'm not lonely,
the walls they speak to me,
they tell me how I can be free,
just a thought and I start to fly,
I don't know where or why,
the land falls away beneath my feet,
I feel the anger begin to retreat,
I can see the angels starring back at me,
am I truly free?
because I'm still wearing my mental leash
and I'm still tied to the tree,
I try to fly as far away as I can,
only to realize my feet are still on land
walking the halls within my mind,
I'm not lonely because
The anger it screamed with a never ending hiss,
scalding the skin of my heart with a boiling kiss,
the pain sinking deeper into the tissue to find it's own home within and without my mind,
alone,
there it rested many a year
never caring,
never sharing,
the hatred it bred nor the fear,
it settled in the hallowed halls within,
breeding and feeding it's self upon my soul,
covering ever inch that once was me in an armor of hate to protect me,
and me alone,
over time the weight became to much,
i had to let go of the armor i had created,
because in reality hatred blocked so much,
that all those around me left to find a friend with less anger than mine,
My skin wears me, I don't wear my skin
It grows taut and it grows thin
Stand upon the line of good and bad
I could go either way in the end
WHO AM I TO BELIEVE
THAT I AM ONLY ME
I’ve ridden on the backs of creatures of the night,
I’ve bathed in the holy glow of creatures of the light,
but where do i stand,
where do i belong,
I stand between the lines of right and wrong,
buit where do I belong.
I’ve played in the forest, hidden amongst the trees,
I’ve laughed on the hillsides, and ran thru the streets,
but where do I stand,
where do I belong,
I’ve floated amongst the clouds at sunrise and sundown,
but where do I belong.
I have saved all the memorys,
I have sung all the songs,
but where do I stand,
where do I belong,
I remembered forgetting,
Then forgot that I'd remembered.
I forget how many things I forgot to remember
Forgot how to remember,
Forgot how to forget...
Where was I going with this?
I forgot.
Reality is so still and steady
On the screens I see things, things
Flashing pulsing throbbing screaming
Fast fast flipping
Always moving
Reality is trees
Bending patiently with the wind
And the slow hot arc of the sun
Cool dance of moon
Silent stars
The fastest is the cheetah
If you can catch it in flight
Instead of napping in the dusty veldt
Oceans pulse and throb
Still, they’re still
Still enough to hold you
I'm not upset enough for smash ups
Crashings, thrashings and freakish screamings.
No. I'm actually quite calm
Like I'm standing outside myself,
Watching myself acting in this and that way
I observe my poise, my voice
I notice the noise
I can feel the void
The world around me begs to be my all
Keeps asking me to drop the ball
And simply give in to the way things always are
"This is life", she says
And she shrugs and hands me another marred grape
"Enjoy."
I roll it tentatively
Squishing its spottiness twixt my digits
In my home I'll have a garden
Planted with furrows of seeds
Mustard greens, tomatoes, radishes and turnips
Mesquite stakes to train vines
Flowers and a hint of pine
A basin, washbasin
I'll wipe resin from my hands
Wash my sweat and dust down, down, down, down the drain
And it will drain, drain, drain out to my fields
There therein was Abel killed
In hindsight...
Houndstooth
Hidden, yet hinted, slightly
Part of a pattern
Paisley, pen's stripes
Stripped of sophistry
Numbed to normalcy amidst the
Mundane modes
Swaths, swatches
Practically forgotten in the fabric of times spent
Pretty pennies
Cuts, measured, hewn,
Tailored, tinted, tinged
Intertwined
Twines, burlaps, leathers
Lacework, cotton, vinyls, esters
Every day, the earth weighs the air down to the soil.
Trapping it, so it can't break free, because the earth needs it.
The earth is selfish.
But does the air know of the earth's sins?
The water has figured it out.
The water tires, and cries.
The air continues, free, or so it thinks.
But the earth will never free it.