Grief; yes.
Analysis; of course.
But the Escher path says only,
“It is. It is. Just accept it.
“Or don’t. It’s up to you.
Be warned, though: bitterness and regret never once
turned back time.
Except to eat up memories, turn them foul;
belch them back in your face, distorted.”
So here is my pledge. Here are the promises
I will try hard to keep, however hard it may be.
I.
I will not say or do things that make you feel bad or guilty.
I will not weep in public. I will not spout vengeful poetry. Sympathy,
solicited, does not heal. Guilt resurrects nothing.
I will try to reflect, rather than ruminate.
How do you say that which can not be said
How do you write that which can not be written
It's not that I can't put it into words
It's just that
Words simply ended where my story had begun
Walking towards me in that blue satin suit
A masterpiece! What a sight to see
And that's when I realized how lucky I am
To have something so sweet
All to myself
All for me
And the minute we met, the minutes stopped
Time was an entity unbeknownst to us
When a simple hello bacame the most melodious thing I had ever heard
We walked, we laughed, we spent our time
Burning memories in the back of our minds
Like something new in the world today
Like a prism of color
Rain water dancing on the roof of my car
Watching the girls play in the mud
That once was sand
That once was ocean
That once was life
And my God –
Stopping myself from wanting
What is probably natural
(Replace the ones that I love)
And I’m almost certain there’s truth
In this misery
Can’t find the off button
The switch to makes this all go away
What would you say if I kissed you?
I watched you gather goldenrod in the fields.
I watched you swimming in the forest.
And I watched you keeping your hands
upon your knees.
You breathe like a scientist. And your breath
becomes the count of dreams. You smell
as sweet as the second-hand books you
throw away.
And the caverns in the earth are not singing.
And I cannot walk around the laboratory.
And I cannot rest my fingers.
And I cannot stay in when the sun is out.
I used to think you were a gift to the
experimenters. I used to think you were a gift
to the men fighting for their home.
Or the men who cry on the heaths and moors.
Do you smile when I texted you like I do with you?
Do you repeat my name in your head absentmindedly like I do with you?
Do you wonder if I'm thinking about you like I do with you?
Do you wish you were with me like I do with you?
I want to be with you.
I want to learn everything about you. I want to be the one you come to when you feel alone.
I want to be your one.
I want to be able to go to you.
I want to learn to love again for you.
I want to know you.
I want you to know me.
I want you to hold you.
I want you to hold me.
I want to trust you.
I want you to trust me.
I want to live a life where I'll come home knowing you're there.
I want to be able to just be in your company and things be okay.
I want you to love me.
I want life to be calm when I'm around you.
I want things to make sense with you. I want to have stupid cute couple moments with you.
It's cold outside
And while I have my blankets
My sweaters, socks, and such
While I have my tea
What I really want is you
I see the way you look at them.
The fire in your eyes, the rose petal blushing facing across your skin.
It's okay...
I know. It's okay. I just want you to know that it's always okay
If you love them, adore them over me...
It's okay.
You can't choose and you can't fight it.
So go to them.
Be there, take what is yours and never regret it.
Because it's okay
I love you
It's okay...
Heroin, cocaine, whiskey,
Intoxicating, dangerous, brilliant, vibrant.
Sunflowers, orchids, red, black, green, white,
Safe, happiness and home, musk, content.
The way we dance in secret, under the midnight sun,
Silent promises and love filled smiles,
So completely enchanted by one another.
Whispered truths and frightful dreams,
Animalistic urges, gentle caresses,
Primal sounds and tender kisses
Spasmodic movements, heated breath.
More
More
Need
Lust
Us
A hundred flaws no one else can see
A hundred flaws you show to me
A thousand flaws no one else can see
A thousand flaws you show to me
A million flaws no one would assume
A million flaws I show them to you
A billion flaws no on would assume
A billion flaws I show them to you
171,146 words,26 letters, 5 vowels and I still cannot tell you how much I love and appreciate you.
Anxiety holds my tongue as if it's a tamed horse. Not allowing me to say a few
Compliments will sail your way
When I learn to talk to you one day.
For now I stay silent appreciating you from afar
Ill say something one day when I gather all my might.
Sleeping is a thing of the past for now you keep me up at night.
This isn't a love poem I'm afraid to say.
I am obsessed with you I mean no harm
Just watching silently, no words to fray.
Words will hurt and burn my tongue
Making my stomach unravel then undone
The best friend I didn't know I'd have here
Will leave me when love is no longer there
At first, it's just a whisper
A faint ringing in my ears
But it grows louder
Until a screech;
A thud upon my shoulder
But it calms me
Against the deafening silence of before
And life emerges
From those hazel mirrors
That look into mine
So I heed the call
I answer the ringing
And together
We wage war against the quiet;
The nothingness;
The dark