The speaker begins with a long list of the things they have loved: a mother, a father, pillow forts, hair being brushed, butterfly kisses, tickle fights, stargazing, a sweetheart, and a home. Most of these are small, warm, childlike comforts, the kind of memories that feel safe. Then comes the turn in the final lines of the list: all of it "has become everything i've ever lost." The poem never says how each loss happened, so we are left with the weight of the change rather than the reasons for it.
What the speaker feels is grief that slides into self-doubt. The questions at the end, "do i not deserve it? am i not good enough?", sound like someone searching for blame and turning it on themselves. The mood is quiet, raw, and sad. The lowercase letters and plain, short lines make it feel like a private thought spoken aloud, which makes the pain feel honest and close.