The speaker is mourning a lost friendship with a boy she calls Todd. She trusted him, let him into the private parts of her life, and a week later he shut her out. The poem circles around that hurt. She keeps thanking him, but the thanks sound strained, caught between real gratitude for the months they shared and pain at how it ended.
Her feelings shift as she goes. She misses him, guesses he was afraid of getting close, then admits she has no idea what she did to scare him. She says she isn't begging him back; she is writing to cope and make sense of it. Still, the loss clearly cut deep, and she says it felt like dying. The ending is rueful and a little self-blaming: his short fuse met her fiery personality, and the friendship blew up. The mood is raw, honest, and sad, with a stubborn thread of tenderness underneath.