Why?

I hate this, I hate that, to be hating, to be the hated. I hate. I hate. And I hate. Why can't I love? It's because I fucking despise. Everthing is un fair. Nothing is fair, it was taken away, but what did I do? I was polite and kind. I wasn't disgusting and firey, Why was I so sweet about it? Why wasn't I Antagonistic?! My mask is just getting thicker. I'm sorry. But Why?