To HIM. — Summary

Why did you say that? Why did you say those hurtful words? What did I do wrong? Did you care about me at all? If you say no to that question, Then all those text messages, All those facebook messages, The card from February 14th, Was a lie. A LIE. I can handle a lie. I’ve done that before. But from you, It will be harder. I thought you were different. I thought you wouldn’t hurt me. Looks like I was wrong. Again. You said to me, “I promise you I won’t run away.” Well. You broke your promise. You’re running away from me. To someone else. Someone you have already been with. A girl with another man’s baby in her. Did you even think? Did you even think about How your decisions affect others? Have you ever thought about others? And how your decisions affect them? Did you think about how I would feel? No. You didn’t. You only thought about your feelings. And how they were stronger with your past. It hurts me, So much, To be around you. You can’t even imagine How much I’m hurting from this. But I will never show you. I won’t give anyone The satisfaction Of seeing me weak. Vulnerable. Out of control. NEVER.

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The speaker is writing directly to someone who has just hurt her badly. He has left her for another girl, one he was with before, who is pregnant by someone else. The poem opens with a rush of questions: why did you say that, did you ever care, was it all a lie? The short lines make it feel like she can't catch her breath.

Her feelings shift as she goes. There is confusion at first, then accusation. She reminds him of his promise not to run away and points out that he only thought about himself. Underneath the anger is a sadder note: "I thought you were different," followed by the bitter "Again," which suggests this isn't the first time she has been let down.

The ending turns inward. She admits how much she is hurting, but swears she will never let anyone see it. The repeated "NEVER" in capitals makes her vow sound fierce, though it also hints at how fragile she feels. The mood is raw, tense and defensive.

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