Blinding sun-
My shadow, pause awhile
As you pass my grave
And I will be content with thee.
One day, life will bloom
From my remains –
Then, in its shade-
Stay, forever.
Snakes don't close their eyelids
'Coz snakes can't close their eyelids.
Fused, the eyelids keep the eyes open
From birth to postmortem.
Perhaps, as the rest of the body rots away,
The eyeballs would lie there forever,
Twinkling like forlorn stars.
Scared of the vacant look of death,we
Scramble to pull down our dead's eyelids.
Perhaps, if we didn't,
they would light up stars
In somebody else's eyes...
Onam*- festivities and happiness,
Dresses in colour, TVs and fridges
Cars and bikes in a spending spree.
Respite from a life, lived mundane.
Onam, my first, without my mother
Forty-six Onams I spent with her.
Her age not counted in mouthfuls of rice1
Her last was a ball for the crow to eat.2
Onam- a week a year, from one to next
Sky so blue and fields so green.
Clouds have gone, weather is mild
Onam will come, the dead will not.
But trees do flower, waters do rise,
Hills turn green, despite the droughts.
They mightn’t be the same, yet they are,
Despite the deaths, life doesn’t end.
In the night, listening to the sounds
Of rain drumming on the tin roof,
To the crashing cymbals
Of dried branches of the Mango tree falling,
To the shattering boom of coconut
Dropping like a cannon ball -
And the wail of the wind
And the croak of the frogs –
The patter of rain on the cemented courtyard
And to the sour, sullen silences of the night -
Looking, mind empty of thoughts, looking
At the seeping water dripping
Through the cracked tiles on the roof
And running down the wall -
At the puddle growing, moving
Slowly like a serpent across the floor -
Floating downstream
I turn my head to watch
A wreath of flowers by my side -
On whom had it lain last?
Fleeing train, lands rush past
It swings and sways, thunders and clangs.
Gripping on to the hand rails
I swing and sway in time.
Fleeing time, life rushes past
It creaks and cracks, shudders and whines.
Gripping on to the thread of life
I hang along till death.
Death, how swift it’ll be
If I let go off the rails!
Flung, smacked and scattered,
A mangle of flesh and bones.
I am, just pieces of flesh and bones
Sewn up like a ragged doll.
A casual toy for a little while
Of a child, to be thrown away, when bored.
Above, the sky was a bright blue
Clouds, white, swum lazily
Sun shone bright
Breeze blew gentle.
Atop the tree, on the highest branch
A new leaf, slender and green
Soaked in the sun and danced in the air.
Other leaves wished how they could be
At the top, at the very top.
Humming happily to itself, the leaf,
Humming happily to itself
Nothing above me
But the empty, vast sky!
Trembling in glee, the flower buds
Blushed,
Dreaming of the bees
Sheltered from this world,
Protected from potential harm,
Fearful of being released,
Wanting to maintain its innocence,
As it begins to mature,
Innocence slowly fades,
Longing for a sense of freedom,
To make its own decisions,
Finally out in the world,
Released to the masses,
Curiosity at its peak,
Expanding with every experience,
Handed to another,
Trusting of their care,
Full of life and joy,
Fears, worries and doubts spared,
Not a day goes by when I don't remember you
I remember when I was younger
I questioned your scars
I didn't know much
But I knew at one point they must have hurt
I remember when you were Santa,
And I told everyone you weren't really him
I caused so much trouble - and they all cried
But you still took me in your arms
As If I'd done nothing wrong
I remember you teaching me to kick a football
You were the only one who could.
And the stories of the different footballers,
You had said you helped with their sore muscles.
I remember When I was losing on of my first teeth
You showed me how it could wiggle
As the deadly breeze sweeps the Earth again,
as it sweeps and takes dear life away,
as I hear the breeze vanishing in thin air...
I'm lost.
I wouldn't say that I understand,
I wouldn't say that I feel the pain,
I wouldn't want to be another phony in the way,
Because I'm lost.
It seems as if the breeze holds me down,
it seems as if I'm bound,
it seems I can't move towards a helping arm...
I'm lost.
Please understand, I ask no more than this,
that I can't live, live with what keeps me tied up in knots,
with hurt and as others, with all due respect, live.
I don't understand how I feel,
Time is fleeting in its passing
And does jolt the memory
Recalling images of long ago
When life seemed to stretch far away
Safe from Death’s stalking shadow.
As a child I thought as a child
Seeing only bright summer days
With friendships I thought to last forever
And parents who could never die
Old age a distant foreign land.
Now walking the land of the elderly
Old bones and old man troubles
Wondering how long before Death
No longer stalks but claims me
And time is no longer fleeting and stops.
Days on end,
sitting in a room full of people.
Not indulging in anyone but myself.
Why would i?
No one here knows me or cares to try.
endless days.
"I won't forget"
I say with my head flooded with thoughts.
thoughts of not being enough,
not having enough material items,
and not giving enough.
though i try to be the best version of myself, the truth is i'm a replica of my parents.
Another day.
Living.
Not for myself.
And not as myself.