Waziristani
children fear a clear blue sky,
the buzzing of bees
A rabbit has squeezed
into a ring of fencing
to browse on dogwood sprouts
and can’t get out.
The snow crunches under
my boots as I loom up,
the small animal
beating against its cage
like a panicked heart.
One day when I was 14
I found a ground
beetle under my bed—
glossy black,
fast & furtive.
I grabbed a thick book
& beat it to death.
I liked beetles but
this one frightened me.
It belonged under rocks
in the forest, not two feet
below my pillow,
burrowing through the carpet
while I slept.
My voice was changing.
The beetle disposed of,
My teacher resembles a flightless bird:
the sky, to him, is an open book
written in a foreign tongue,
his enormous eyes are no bigger
than his three stomachs & when
he sticks his head in the sand, it isn’t
to evade the truth but to remember it
by being alone with his terrors.
I wrote you a note
And now I'm waiting to hear back.
People don't talk about how scary this is enough.
Maybe I'm just scared because I always start them,
But I never finish the relationship.
My first love told me
She had the wrong sexuality-
Our whole thing was a lie.
My second love was a mistake,
i was willing to give more than I had,
And they wanted more than I could offer.
My family ended that one.
My third love was a cute boy named Joey.
We had everything in common,
But it was just a summer fling.
As you can see,
hey.
did i do it again?
ruin a friendship?
you didn't nod hello at me like normal.
i guess i started it,
cuz i did my thing-
my 'im in another mood' thing,
my 'give everyone the cold shoulder' thing.
my 'fuck everything up' thing.
i dont want to fuck this up-
i dont want to lose you-
i cant be alone anymore-
dont let me lose you-
dont let me-
dont let-
dont.
Can I tell you something weird?
I don't think you're cute.
I don't think you're ugly!
But I do think you're pretty.
You're really nice to look at,
That's what I meant to say.
I'm not very good at phrasing stuff,
So please just bear with me.
How long until I let you read this?
I know someday you will.
Maybe I'll ask you out.
(I'm kinda scared to fail.)
You make me feel like a kid again for a couple of reasons,
First, you're 5 and a half inches taller, and two, that's when everyone still listened.
Hey Parker, I really like you,
Please be nice to me.
because you shouldn't worry
about mommy and daddy not being home
because you should feel love
because mommy and daddy stay home
because you shouldn't be scared
because the dressers hit the floor and the banging gets louder
because you shouldn't cry
because mommy and daddy can't do anything but fight
because you should be a little girl
not worrying if daddy is ever going to come home
little girl
It’s become an epidemic,
Murder, rape and theft,
Stay inside and lock your doors,
Setup an alarm and buy a gun,
One gruesome image after another,
Fear and paranoia provoked,
Panicked into purchasing safety devices,
All the while crime decreases,
Thirty seconds at a time,
Attractive faces and voices displayed,
Advice on how to better your life,
Items and prices then portrayed,
Hyperboles prevalent,
There’s nothing like this,
The first of its kind,
Resulting in love and happiness,
Nowhere to turn,
The walls closing in,
Being there from the start,
Nearing is the end,
Planted firmly in the middle,
My eyes stare straight ahead,
Cognizant of what will result,
If to either side I sway,
At equal speeds they close,
Tension building in the process,
The suffocation I begin to feel,
The painful end seemingly inevitable,
My rapidly beating heart races ever more,
My pulse begins to quicken,
Sweat dripping from my face,
In my stomach knots form,
When I walk into a room,
What do others see?
What do they think?
What do they feel?
When I open my mouth,
What do they hear?
Do they understand?
Do they care?
Leaving friends at a bar,
Words inevitably spoken about me,
Never knowing what they are,
What they truly think,
When separated from family,
My name is mentioned,
Judgments and worries,
Fears and questions,
A sleepless night with a dire noises
A booming sounds came across the window
Light flickering
Quivering beneath the sheet
Heart racing
Mind hallucinating worst
Not able to catch my thoughts
Enormous noises again
Clung to my pillow not able to let go
Thought death was at my door.