I lost a friend
who could have been more
if distance wasn't so long
if she hadn't gotten so sore
every classic song
every shell at sea
did I think of her
as much as she thought of me?
would it have been different
if I tried a little harder
prayed a little more
said thank you to her father
could it have been better?
I don't think so
even if she weren't at her end
I'd still have to let go
I miss her.
I miss them all.
My happiness for seeing those who they become
Is challenged by my sorrow for the loss of those who they were
I miss me.
I miss us all.
I will fight for you all
Until there remains in me none of the light that you created
Stay with me please.
They said they were her friends
They said they cared for her
She said that she was lonely
They said they were the cure
She trusted them more
More and more each day
She almost opened up
But then they went away
They made plans without her
They didn't notice when she wept
They secretly talked about her
They didnt notice when she left
She considered leaving forever
She continued to stay quiet
She considered coming back never
She continued to cry silent
You thought we were friends, I thought we were more
So it's not your fault that my heart is sore
I guess I just thought you felt the same way
I should've asked you and saved us this day
You want us to be friends not anything more
I don't think I can, not just as before
Don't worry about me I will be just fine
And don't feel guilty, the mistake was mine.
Why do you do these things to my heart?
You pull me in and hold me close,
And just when I've burned your image into my brain,
You let go.
Disappearing into the haze surrounding my thoughts-
and for a while I don't know what to do.
It's strange to not need someone and to need them all at once-
To want to push them away and hold them close at the same time.
It's true that things were never supposed to turn out this way,
Friends, right?
Always friends-
who never admit the things we thought or said or breathed in hushed whispers over the phone lines because we were too afraid to be heard.
Always friends-
Sometimes I want nothing more,
Than to be the one who has given you a reason to smile,
Too hot to sleep, they call a friend in the U.S. & listen to him drink a cold beer.
My friend Jesús has a glass
paperweight in the shape
of a mountain with one red
maple leaf trapped inside.
Jesús, I say, what do you need
a paperweight for? You have
no papers. He frowns,
then smiles. Sometimes I bring
the mountain to Mohammed
across the hall, he says.
We think it’s funny.
I take both of them on a ride
in the country to look at
the leaves. They keep asking
things I don’t know the answer to.
Which tree is that? Why
I leave my key
secure in the lock
and my hired horse out
in the field
day and night
come anew to sing
oh friend stay and lodge
as soon as the sand
which I carry to bed
in one tear
I fear making friends
like a hog in
a little home field
run over the rose
which I thought
a wonder
among unkind friends
my one-lie advantage
like a warren’s rat
I give the best advice in bed
mustering the river
i put a single stem
of beebalm – bright
red shaggy head – in
a green, wide-
bottomed wine
bottle & set
it outside to see if
the hummingbirds
would come
the first summer crickets
playing their rasps
pick right up where
they left off at
the intermission,
going on as if
this brief stage
paper heart
my wife and I heavy
for the loss of our friend