This grave or prison, the heart—
who could remember
what it was like to be released?
I went with a bottle or two
hunting for friends.
playing at cards
I am forced to deal
the difference between a friend
and a whore
I hear some symphony
of his own making
perform my part
and part
i accidentally wrote a love poem
and gave it to my friend
but i didn't mean it that way
i hope our friendship doesn't end
sometimes I feel like an idiot
and today just proves it's true
i should never had made that poem
and really shouldn't have given it to you
so now i'm crying on my bedroom floor
wishing i could turn back time
cause it'd make me never write it
and i'd forget that note of mine
but time only moves forward
i wish it wasn't so
i'll just stop talking now
and we can both exist- alone
My friend just told me he's suicidal-
Not again,
I think as I hold in my tears.
Losing someone is hard,
But losing someone when you know you could have helped
Is like having someone rip out your heart.
He thinks not being alright is bad-
If that's true, I'm living the worst life anyone's ever had.
Of all my friends,
Only two are really okay.
There's the one I tell everything,
And the one I'm still trying to make.
They both know I'm not at my best,
But they still treat me like someone who's fine.
I think it's cause they know being hurt is fine,
And that it's okay not to be okay.
one of my friends walked up to me today,
and he said "you gotta love depression"
then he pulled back his sleeves to show me his wrists.
i think im going to cry
if i dont save this life.
i didnt even know i had one to save
the last time a classmate did it,
so now that i know
im going to try my hardest.
lacey, dont kill yourself.
its not worth it.
youll be okay,
i promise.
im here for you.
I'm glad you didn't make a disgusted sound
When she asked if we were dating,
Cause that would have really broke my heart
And I'm not sure I'd be able to talk to you if you did.
Thanks for taking it in stride,
And even adding to my joke about why I'd be a bad partner.
(I think puppies are cute,
So thanks for making me feel adorable)
Thanks for starting that conversation in 3rd,
Cause my mind was running,
Tryna find a fault in how I answered her.
I'm really happy you're my best bud.
I'd love to be more,
But I'll wait until you're ready.
I'd never force you into anything,
So you can make me wait forever.
You know,
I've never met anyone like you.
We're supposed to be grown up-
(My family constantly reminds me that I'm anything but)
But you chose to stay young.
Why?
What about your youth was so kind to you?
Was it your parents,
Singing you your song?
Or was it something else?
Did you have a friend tell you
Why they wanted to grow up,
And you decided it wasn't worth it?
What the hell is going on in your mind
When I see you staring at the table like that?
Are you remembering something you love?
hey.
did i do it again?
ruin a friendship?
you didn't nod hello at me like normal.
i guess i started it,
cuz i did my thing-
my 'im in another mood' thing,
my 'give everyone the cold shoulder' thing.
my 'fuck everything up' thing.
i dont want to fuck this up-
i dont want to lose you-
i cant be alone anymore-
dont let me lose you-
dont let me-
dont let-
dont.
I like to write about you.
I think it's because I'm the only one who knows you.
Maybe I'm not, and you're just not telling me,
But I don't mind.
Your voice is one of your best traits.
(Actually, no. Not really. They all are.)
But my favorite?
Well...
My favorite thing about you
Is that you're not afraid to be a kid.
Everyone chose to grow up in middle school,
But you and me? We never did.
Too bad we aren't neighbors,
Or I'd play soccer with you.
Perhaps some day I'll come over,
And we can be kids for a bit together.
I like to write poems so that I can be heard.
Because no one will listen to a person who doesn't like to use a phone,
Or go out in public much- It's all so much and I'd like to be able to-
Or watch tiktok all day instead of reading.
But it's okay, because I'll email if you respond!
And I'm a pretty good friend.
That shoulder you cried on?
That was me.
So it's okay that I'm mostly alone,
Because I love everyone anyways.
If I said I liked your eyes,
Would you smile?
If I said I liked your voice,
Would you smile?
If I told you your hair was fluffy,
Would you laugh?
Would you smile if I said a bad joke,
Or just stare at me?
I'd love to hear you laugh, by the way.
To hear you talk for hours.
You have the kind of voice perfect for reading.
It's very pretty.
Would this poem make you smile
If I shared it with you? Or maybe
You'd look away, embarrassed a loser found you cool?
In case you can't tell, I like you.
Today I spoke to the "Quiet Kid."
Found out he doesn't like his voice.
Said he should talk more cause I did.
To be honest, it sounds like an angel.
Not that I'd ever tell him.
I wonder tons about him,
Like if he likes the rain.
Maybe soon I'll ask him,
Unless he tells me to go away.
Quiet boy has fluffy hair,
So I'd really love to see
If I can get him to let me touch it,
Or if he'll get sick of me.
See, I'm the "Wild Kid"
Who all the students know,
But that's not really true, cause if they did