First and Last:
You are the first I'm not ashamed of
The first where I feel like I can be myself
Can you hear the endless happiness crying?
Just thinking about you is satisfying
You are the first I think about when I wake up
And the last when I go to sleep again
And there's nothing I would want to change
You are the first I truly adored and loved
With heart and soul;
Thus I ask:
Will you also be the last?
He said,
he got something to say
He is from a million years away..
Before I can even see his face,
I took the quickest way to escape..
Than he asked me my name
And I took that as a threat..
We crossed and fought
In the battle of thoughts
He asked me why
I'm always in rush
I said it's my fault,
I don't trust..
He said maybe he can help me,
I said sorry I'm in hurry..
His eyes made my heart swell
Hardest thing to do is to love someone
Who won't love you back
To be there for someone
Who wasn't there for you
To still see the best in somone
When all they tend to show is the worst..
To sacrifice for the self obsessed,
To cry without making a noise,
To choose someone over yourself,
Who will never choose you for you.
To choose the unworthy,
To give heaven to the devil,
To love someone who loves obsession more than love.
To be a giver for the taker,
To live with a restricted throat,
To neglect your truth,
The days go past
And we don't speak;
We don't write;
We don't chat.
When I am at school,
You are at home.
But when we do talk,
It's just like the old days;
Like it always was.
We pick up where we left off.
Because time doesn't matter;
Distance doesn't matter,
When we're connected by hearts.
For that reason,
We'll always be best friends.
I'm sorry for lying
I'm sorry for stealing
I'm sorry for the hurtful words
I'm sorry for the way I am
I'm sorry for the disrespecting words
I'm sorry for disrespecting people
I'm sorry for hurting you
I'm sorry for starting things
I'm sorry for getting in trouble
I'm sorry for trying to overdose
I'm sorry for breaking your heart
I'm sorry for everything
I'm sorry for my problems
I'm sorry for putting my hands on you
I'm sorry for telling stories
I'm sorry for my life style
Do you remember?
The way you talk to me
The way I talk to you
Only our minds know
Never did we say anything
The way we look at each other
The way we send each other a sign
Only our hearts know
I tried to grant a wish
The way I would only know
The way you would know
Only that is what became of our silence
When your heart is broken
Tears taste like soap
When you cry for people
They taste like the sea
And self-inflicted losses
Like nose bleeds
But when it's all three
You're dead.
Every night she lies awake
Blaming insomnia.
But it's her troubled heart
That keeps her restless.
Wondering if she will ever
Find peace.
Thank you
for all the
smiles you gifted
to me,
and for making
my heart
flutter and squeeze
until the stars
disappeared
into the sunrise.
'choose.' i said, 'me or her.'
but it wasn't that simple
not for you
it wasn't coke or pepsi
cats or dogs
sun or rain
it was the difference between 'i love you' and 'i need you'
soft goodnight kisses or rough morning sex
big smiles and tenderness and a girl that just made you so happy
or late nights and alcohol and a girl that made you feel alive
so when i said, 'choose.'
when i said, 'me or her.'
you looked at me like i was asking you the most unfair question in the world
you said, 'i love you,'
and my heart fell on cracked pavement
broke right down the middle
The invisible strings that held her together
Were slowly breaking apart
And unravelling the mess she kept inside
Dangerously close to her heart.
She felt the tears at the rim of her eyes
Threatening to spill and break free
But she blinked them back as hard as she could
Out of fear somebody would see.
She wanted to appear like she had it together
So she tried to put on a show
But the pressure she placed on herself was too great
And the invisible strings let go.
My metal heart is tearing me up
With all of its stray pieces coming after me
I try to run but I'm derailed
It's stuck inside taking me with it
I can't hold on and I slip
My chest bursts open
Words pour out giant sorrows
Not quite in but not quite there
I stutter as I force out the unsaid balance
It doesn't work
And I weld my metal heart back up