Items lost
Items found
Moving town to town
Trees leafs
Falling
round and round
My home is not where I'm found.
My brain became the eraser
of the equation.
The remnants of what was,
Once a wonderful, soulful,
home...
Is now a desert.
A wasteland
with tattered memories and shattered beer glasses.
i can't avoid you when i know your address like the back of my hand.
i can't just move far away from you if i still know how to get there and where to turn to find you.
i could move thousands of miles away from you, but i still know the small tiny town of edgewater and how to navigate around the shores and how the street names are alphabetical and the blocks skip by twos.
i can't delete your number if i know it by heart.
always a number i want to call in the middle of the day to see if you're doing okay.
i can change my number,
i can even block yours if i wanted to.
but i still know it.
i can still always dial it up.
i still check my phone to see your name in it.
He asked me " where do you want to go?"
I would have said 'Take me home'
But then I remembered I didn't know where it's.
For most people home is a place with a beloved one
And for some it's a shelter from the cold.
For me it's more of a feeling.
The feeling you get when you hear your favorite song for the first time
Or that giddy feeling you get seeing your crush
Or the warmth you feel from a stranger's kindness.
But that would have been too hard to explain...
So I said " The Golden Gate. "
Have you ever felt like you belonged nowhere?
When I met your eyes
Those caramel hazel tone
Sparkled with bits of freshly cut grass
This tiny mouth smirking as I
Look at you one moment too long
You already knew how I felt around people
Hurt by the roots of my existence
Punished by the woman
Who used to be my home
I thought I've just found my new shelter
When you embrace me with your arms
Feeling like nothing could hurt me anymore
Nothing could
But you.
I look up at the dark blue sky
The sky that's filled with these stars so bright
These stars that fill up the whole sky
This big sky that I try to reach
I try to reach for the stars
But not even my fingertips touch the slightest bit of this magical sky
These stars...
They look so free from far away
They make me feel so free
I can do as I wish
I can dance as if nobody's watching
I can sing like an idiot
I want to be a part of them
It's like as if I belong
As if I long for a home that never was mine from the beginning
Hiraeth
I go home to her
The only one left
Chain to the neck
Compelled not to go
Yet forgotten and abandoned
Faithful but disregarded
Just think of it
She's always been there
Yet you think of her as only a reflection
I don't think I remember
When you became my home
From my escape...
I feel like shit.
The words really hit.
The goodbye really split.
We really split.
After everything I wanted.
You never gave.
After everything you wanted.
I never gave.
Unproductive lifestyles kill me.
So I said goodbye.
I upset you today.
I never explained why.
I just didn't text.
I didn't smile.
I drove home alone tonight.
I'm ok with that.
I come from gaps in the system
Glitches in the firewall
Weak spots in the fence
Those pieces of thread
That hang off a finished garment.
I come from words without meaning
Sandwiches without the crust
I come from mystery flavored dumdums
And ripped jeans,
Roses with thorns
Those houses with peeling paint
I come from pizzas with no cheese
And girls that don't wear makeup...
Most people hate those
Places in the corner
Where the walls don't evenly meet
You built a house
The crudesr little house
But you thought it was beautiful.
Said it reminded you of someone
Someone from far away from decades ago
Someone I have never met
From a place I've never been.
Such a crude uneven house
Yet you call it home
And we all have a place we call home
It needs no name
No title
It is only a feeling
And yet when they see
That crude little house
The children laugh
Beating the walls
Making a sound,
Tired of going unheard
Tired of being the mouse
Tired of sitting
Tired of waiting
For the one who never comes.
Beating the walls
Until they're full of holes
Like Swiss cheese.
Tired of staring
At those faded walls
Those stained monstrosities
They want me to call
My home.
Beating the carpet