The heart bleeds
The body longs
The mind yearns
It has been too long since I last saw your face
Your eyes – deep and intense
Your smile – innocent and kind
We found comfort in each other’s loneliness
But we didn’t stand a chance
Our love ran deep
But our roots were too easily pulled apart
We had our pasts
But we looked to the future
I can count on one hand the amount of times we saw each other
And how many of those that weren’t forbidden is even less
And then, suddenly, you were gone…
It has been many years since our eyes met across the room
Day 4th
I love you
Is that not enough?
I adore you
Is that not enough?
I want you
Is that not enough?
I miss you
Is that not enough?
I proclaim my love for you
Is that not enough?
I sacrifice my youth for loving you
Is that not enough?
I sacrifice my beauty for feeling sadness of being the unmissed one, for you
Is that not enough?
I live my life for you
I didn’t write this poem to your overshirts & oversized tennis shoes,
Glinting masculine pride & promise.
I didn’t write this poem to admire your curved cheekbones,
Underlining eyes crowded with time, loss, & sleeplessness.
I didn’t write this poem to cause you to call me
And tell me in your DeNiro voice you want my company.
I didn’t write this poem to cause you to text me
Sweet half-threats of tender licentiousness.
I didn’t write this poem to ease your heartache,
Longing for another woman,
Yet another who got away.
I didn’t even write this as an ode to the most brazen creature
I know, a slight female with the
Scariest demeanor in three countries,
A keen eye out for every menace,
Including myself,
Sometimes I feel like giving up
Because there isn't anything left for me
But then
There is this one person
Who makes me feel better about myself
Who makes me smile even when I want to tear someone's head apart
But he doesn't know that
How much he makes me happy
Sometimes I want to run away
But I can't
every time I hold you I feel like I have everything right besides me
I touch your hand and play with you're fingers
you ask me "what are you doing " and I just smile and say "nothing "
you smile back and then hold my hand .
sometimes I do feel that you feel the same way when we are alone
I think im falling in love with you
If one of the things you believe in
Is that this world's an ugly place
You must have never gone
Outside at night
And stared up into space
You haven't felt the way the air changes
In the minutes before it rains
Or watched the world pass by below
Out of the window plane
You've never been awake so early
That you see the moment the sun starts to rise
And you've never laid with your back on the sky
But maybe if you've done all this
But still don't believe its not true
It's because you can't see all the beauty
That I see when I look at you
One time I heard a quote,
"Do you ever think
that some people
are born to give more love,
than they'll ever receive?"
That quote always resonated with me
for some reason
but i always catch myself thinking
that maybe if I gave you more love
i would get the same in return
but at the end of the day
maybe it's the loving me part
that you find difficult
i hate you
i hate you
i used to tell you that all the time
while secretly hoping you wanted to be mine
but if i were to see you now
i wouldn't say it but to you, i also wouldn't bow
i know why i cant say it
and it's not because i fell back in love with you or some shit
it's because when i used to say it
i didn't mean it
and i've always been non-confrontational
so the reason i can't say it
is because over the years
it became true
so there's only one thing i have left to say;
i hate you
hate me,
love me,
do what you want with me,
it is not the town itself,
but the people from whom i want to flee
i'm so deeply apologetic that my own feelings made you feel threatened
she puts her hand on my shoulder
and my heart flutters
it is when i'm reminded that other people think i deserve to die
do i look at her and let out a sigh
she is more beautiful than the sun
and in my heart she could easily win number one
but it is other people's beliefs
that make our fleeting moments brief
people will judge me
they will hate me
The day I got close enough to see the minute iridescent freckles across your face
was the day that I discovered my new favourite place.
A spot right in front of you,
a world built for two.
But what happens when the world wasn't built for you,
but instead was built for people who, when I think about;
are almost taboo.
it feels wrong to know
that you love another
that you're so immersed in her
just like how i used you to make my emotions smother.
It's sad to know,
that the paint on the walls will dry
faster than the tears your beautiful eyes have made me cry
oh, to feel comfortable in my favourite place again,
to love you without betraying a friend.
i want to tell you everything
without you being afraid
or judging me
i want to mention how
my hair is falling out
how my clothes fit a little looser
how my parents told me that they love me a little less everyday
how it's getting bad again
but i can't.
"i love you,"
it's a 3-word phrase that
when taken out of context
is seemingly simple
but, in my humble opinion
pushing the idea of love on anyone is
sickening
because
"i love you"
doesn't always mean
"you're my everything"
and
"i love you"
doesn't always mean
"you're my forever"
and maybe