Do you remember when we were trying to sleep?
Trying to get rid of my insecurities,
I held your hand like no one else
And tried not to lose myself
I'd always be there when you needed me
I knew you'd be there too.
I thought I was making a fool of myself
Getting dressed so we could leave
As soon as you came,
But you never did.
I thought you forgot about me
I really thought you did
I guess I was wrong.
If I love you, can I trust you?
If I see you, are you with me?
If I hear you, are you talking?
If I'm with you, would you leave me?
If I tried to help you, would you let me?
Feels so different,
Feels so distant.
I try to be there
But I get pushed away.
I can tell it's over
Way before it's over
Love is not enough
I really wish it was.
This is pretty hard
We fell down too fast
We both got to play
With each other's feelings
Thing is we got tired
It got boring.
I'm not too good with letting go
I'm way too good at overthinking.
Not that I'm not independent
Just wanna keep you close to me.
Don't wanna see you leave
Won't let you take the lead
I'm the one in charge here.
You just gotta wait and see.
I wish I could forget it
I wish you would forgive me
But every time I see you
I just can't unsee it.
Every damn fight
Like the one in Barcelona.
It was all my fault
You know I'm insecure
I wish there was a way
For you to understand.
You painted us gold
And I made us blue.
I'm so sorry it didn't work
I really wish it did,
At least for you and me.
I never felt at home anywhere
So I kept looking
I went from place to place,
But it never felt right
Until I met you
And I realized,
Home wasn't a place
Home was a person
And that person was you
Here I am again
3 am
I can't sleep
I'm craving your touch
But you're not here
You never were
And as I lay here, wishing you were here
I realize
When you finally touch me, I won't be able to live without you
And that scares me
Could we fall in love for a day?
So i could know the way you taste at least once?
Could we fall in love for a night?
So I could know the way you breathe when you sleep?
Could we fall in love for a moment?
So I could know your heart beats only for me even ic only for a second?
But now comes the hard part:
Could we fall in love forever?
So I'd never have to know what it's like to be apart?
I was there when he broke you.
I was there when you needed me.
I was always there.
But you chose Him.
You chose him every single time.
Where were you?
Where were you when I was on my knees begging for you to stay?
Where were you when I needed you the most?
Where were you when I was terrified of going back there?
Oh right. I remember...
You stood by and watched.
You watched me shatter into a billion pieces.
And you were laughing.
And you were flirting.
With Him.
Him
Hand in hand,
Eyes locked.
Am happy.
Smiles
Spread cheek to cheek.
Am happy.
Loving kisses
And warm hugs.
Am happy.
His face
In the middle of a crowd.
Am happy.
His voice
In a room of silence.
Am happy.
Him
In the dead of the night,
Comes the haunting of my mind.
Single whispers dance,
Their delicate words kind.
In the dead of the night,
His eyes gaze at me.
I know he is not here,
It is only my heart trying to see.
In the dead of the night,
I shut my eyes tight.
Sleep does not come easy,
When he is all that makes things all right.
In the dead of the night,
The thoughts of him continue to haunt.
Letting the thoughts in becomes bittersweet,
It fills my heart with love and want.