No strings attached
Friends with benefits
Two hundred day of school
Unofficially yours.
Freckles in my heart
And teardrops on your sketch.
All I did was to love you
Longed you to death, it's all I knew.
How will I tell the world
I am still tangled down
Crippled and motionless
I have you.. yet I struggle and fight.
It's been quite a while now
But didn't had much chance
For you to feel
My love for you.
I think I should get a rubber band on my wrist too
To stop me from thinking of you
Cause after all this time I'm still writing poems about you
Still saying I'm in love with you
I still have your number on my phone by the way
I tried calling the other day
THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED DOES NOT EXIST
Which had me thinking for a little bit
Maybe the love I seek does not exist
And I guess maybe that's alright
Maybe it's about time I gave up the fight
I'm way too battered and bruised
I missed the opportunity to hold you close
Now I'm stuck here missing you
And I guess all of this seems like it's coming out the blue
And maybe that's true
The number you have dialed does not exist
I sit calmly as my soul continues to violently scream for you
I've tried running to you but pride holds me hostage
My fears and insecurities keep in a bondage
Right next to all the words I should've said
Never have I know a love like this
Correction
Never will I know a love like this
A love that waited patiently for me to grow up
A love that lifted me up and showed me the ropes
Because whenever I had your hand to hold
I was shinning baby girl I was gold
I used to think the sunset was beautiful
Back when I was with you still
But now every time I set my eyes on it
I can feel the pain coming over me
I have this dream that one day I'll bump into you in the mall
You'd be wearing that black dress I like and the matching heels
And you'll look so beautiful I'll immediately get into my feels
But like I've been doing for what feels like an eternity now
I'll hold back my tears because you are walking with him
Laughing harder than you ever did with me
He probably loves you better than I ever could
Brings you chocolate everyday
Kisses you on the neck way better than me
I'm sure he listens to you
I'm sure he's twice the man I ever could be
Maybe you think of me
Or maybe for a second you see me too
And you instantly turn blue
Now would be a good chance to ask me why
Why I never seemed to try
I see him holding the piece of my heart I've been missing
He's taken a part of myself I can't get back
I still need you and darling you know that
So I'll hold back my tears again
And pretend that it's different
I'll ignore all the bitterness
Of the sweet nothings you used to whisper in my ear
Those constellations I used to gaze upon Are now sadly gone
They sparkle for someone else now
You promised me you'd stay
But now you are miles away
You even dress differently
And I think that's the part that's killing me
If you could change for him so easily and move on so fast
I wonder if you were fake with me
Was I just your release
I remember this feeling... .
It's a feeling I can't label yet...
But it's also something I can't forget...
All I know is after this feeling comes regret
I don't remember all of the things
Just the sweet taste of your lips
The warm feeling of your hips
The sparkle in your eyes
I don't remember much from that day
But I know I will never feel that way
Memories of you come in waves
Sometimes it's in black and white
Sometimes it's dark as night
It's so dark that I can't even move.
But sometimes it's colourful
And I can see everything but your face
I wanted to write of our love,
I wanted to write of how I felt
I wanted to jot down my emotions
I wanted to put our story on paper
I wanted to take of our adventures
I wanted to draw your face
I wanted to paint you
I wanted to write you a letter
I wanted to profess and confess
I wanted to make you a meal
I wanted to surprise you
I wanted to buy you gifts
I wanted to circumnavigate the earth with you
I wanted to count the stars with you
I wanted to trace a river's source with you
I wanted to climb the Everest with you
She was a pond of water,
accumulated from droplets of rain,
tears and tears of pain
with mud at the bottom,
moss on the sides
and hyacinth on the top.
No fish dared be found in her,
no life ever nurtured by her,
no form of attraction whatsoever displayed by her.
He was a bonfire,
made alive by sticks of burning wood,
rough and hard being slowly added.
With ashes at the bottom,
stones on the sides,
and a burning light at the top.
No creature dared to touch,
Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Especially since she's the only one you found,
She's the girl who'd auction off her own comfort,
Just to trade it in for yours...
She was your biggest fan,
Yet every morning,
She'd wake up with a new bruise to be found
But she would never tell anyone it was you,
She'd just say "no, he wasn't around"
She's only allowed to love few,
Since you hurt her so bad,
That now she barely loves him now too...
There was a boy I fell madly in love with...
He told me he would fix me,
But instead all he did was break me..
He broke my already shattered pieces,
Smaller
And smaller
And smaller...
Till they were almost unfixable...
Recently, I have been feeling ok,
Feeling like that I'm not lost anymore.
Recently I'm also realising it's ok to feel ok,
Realising i can feel stuff that isn't pain.
Recently, I get what it's like to feel loved,
Loving isn't an emotion I'm use to feeling.
Recently, my mind has been calm,
Calm is a feeling my mind doesn't know at all.
Recently, I remember what happiness is,
It's what I've been looking for my whole life.
Recently, Moving on hasn't seemed so scary,
It's not scary, it's freeing An I longed to be free.
Recently I've learned you're the reason I'm able to feel like this.
Sometimes, it's not how long you love someone for
it's how hard you've loved them that causes the pain.
An even though I knew I shouldn't have fallen for you I did it anyway.
So now that heartbreak is my fault
That pain is my fault.