Locked doors and tightened chains.
As the stiffness in my throat grows.
I've given you permission to take a bite out of my heart and you spit it out when you see my tears.
It can't happen anymore. The lust in your eyes reels me in but the acid from your mouth forces me back out.
Loud noises used to startle us,
Now they're the only rain in the hurricane we've created.
Join me in my crusade,
To find the light I've longed to see.
With you as my eyes,
and I as the map,
we will march on to a new day,
One of love, and serendipity.
Your eyes are deep,
They tell stories I would not even be able to comprehend.
Many beyond my belief.
But they're lovely.
You're lovely
there are some things i want to see.
there are some things i want for me.
i want change,
in fact i could go as far as to say
i need change
because staying like this won't let me be
the best version of myself
i want love.
this never will be something i need
this is something i want
i want love because i need to be able to wake up
with a smile and and think everything's okay
i want support,
it's almost like it's something i live off
is it a need if i want it more than air?
i want someone to who i can tell all my worries
i know i'm a coward
i'm frantic and naive
but i miss you.
you were my yellow
you made my days idyllic.
it wasn't amorous
it was sweet and quaint.
until we got a glimpse at the
truth,
and i had to go away.
so thank you,
my ethereal beauty.
but my fear got the
best of me
my words were insubstantial
compared to my
i keep coming back to you
because our bridges haven't burned.
and even after they have,
i will still try to swim to you.
it's easier when your away.
out of my head,
out of my sight.
it's easier to heal when i'm not thinking about you.
i think about you less when i see you less.
but just as the moon needs the stars,
i feel like i need you just as bad.
and i dont.
i know i dont.
i know how you feel
and i just cannot feel the same way.
and that's what sucks.
i miss the important talks we used to have.
digging into our souls
but it doesn't mean i'm going to give up everything i'm doing to get that back from you.
what i thought what could be forever
was simple just a scintilla.
a flash of light.
here and gone.
time has passed,
i still write about you.
i still think about what could have been.
but i can't keep what doesn't want me and what doesn't want to stay.
i just wish i held you longer.
i wish i could have told you i loved you
instead of yelling at you.
even though we've said our goodbyes
i still love you and i don't think anyone will love you as much as me.
i never wanted to leave
i never wanted to have to turn my back on you
but sometimes that's just how things have to be.
lately i've been trying to write about you.
but i keep stopping half way through.
it's like typing out a long paragraph and realizing half way through they don't care and deleting it.
maybe it's because im losing feelings.
maybe it's because i realize you don't care and won't read this.
whatever it is
i'm sorry.
they say the sun loves the moon but they've never truly met
but tonight at 7:41 pm
the moon was already half way up and the sun was still setting
the both of them trying to catch up to each other and stay as long as they could just to see each other as long as they could and be in each other's presence
they say the sun loves and needs the moon but if they ever truly met and collided it would be so tragic for the world
and i think it's romantically sad,
that our love is best described like the two of them.
i'd love to say,
"even after all of this i'm still here for you."
but i can't be.
this is the love i have no choice but to let go of.
i'll still think of you from time to time,
but it's something i know i have to stop doing.
i'll walk out the doors one last time
and i can never come back to you.
so ill hang my head and cry
and just thank God i didn't kill myself over all this.
and i think that's enough of a victory for me.