one Mother
one Father
two Brothers
one Sister
one Bestfriend
one Self
one Rival
one Fear
two Lovers
one Envy
one Opposite
one Selfish
one Heart
one Life
one Love
one Me
i feel your arms around me and i embrace you
your head pressed against my chest
flecks of your makeup brush onto my shirt
i could care less if my shirt bears the stains
you feel unwell but i feel at peace holding you for the first time
i want you to feel better and the same i don't want you to leave
as you press against my torso with your arms around my back
i gently hold you feeling the curvature of your lower back
your hair brushing over my arm the smell of you so particular
i've never experienced this before i've never experienced you before
even as the moment ends and you recover enough to stand alone
it never ends for me still playing now as i remember you on that night
i see that you enjoy him
that is more than fine
its good
its amazing
but i still wish it could be me that you enjoy
i still wish that i could be the one to meet your family
i still wish that i could be the one to hold you when you cry
i still wish that i could be the one
i still wish i could be your one
but its more than fine
its good
its amazing
and just as a law sanctioned bullet
no amount of it being fine and good will negate the pain
it was not love but it was love'ish
she was not mine but she was mine'ish
it did not hurt it only hurt'ish
when we left there
but she is not gone only gone'ish
I wish a day he would turn to me,
Realise what’s missing in his life
Realise that we belong to each other
I wish a day,
He would call my name
With a smile on his face,
With joy in his eyes,
As he looks at me,
And gives me a peck on the lips,
And wraps his arm around me.
I wish for day
I wish.
Blue
It's your favorite color
It's the splash of your laugh
It's the happiness I feel with you
White
It's our innocence
Its you knowing how I feel
It's us laying nonetheless
Grey
It's the mixed signals
Its me trying to understand
It's me failing
Red
It's hugs, arms around you
It's you and her
It's me watching in the wooden seat
You thought we were friends, I thought we were more
So it's not your fault that my heart is sore
I guess I just thought you felt the same way
I should've asked you and saved us this day
You want us to be friends not anything more
I don't think I can, not just as before
Don't worry about me I will be just fine
And don't feel guilty, the mistake was mine.
To fill my time with nothingness is something i crave.
hours, days, seconds fly past as i remain perfectly still. Distract the distractions, fill the void as it caves in. Don't let it explode as it ignites.
The line blurs as you cross it, perfectly sane insanity.
Drink,
Smoke,
laugh,
fall.
get up,
fight,
apologise,
beg.
Melt into the all, die in the nothing.
Mix in with those who seek to destroy you, part with those who help you. They were always 'too weak.'
You gave me sight and now i am blind.
I was a fool and you were my master.
I wish,
that I could
carry you in my pocket all day,
Like some little good luck charm,
Or a leaf,
That has some exquisite venation
that you find
deep in the woods
where there's no one around
to hear you rustle around in the dead leaves,
in order to find the one that's
just barely clinging to life,
But it's the perfect shade of green
to describe just how lucky you feel
to have someone who loves you
Inexplicably
I've tried to erase the image of you from my brain,
I've tried a hundred times,
To take the giant eraser of my mind,
And erase,
The smell of your too strong cologne-
Which is, by far, not too strong now,
As my nose tries to grasp on to a scent
Too strong from two years ago.
I've tried to erase the idea of you from my brain,
But it's almost like a punishment,
Like scraping gum off the bottoms of desks in high school,
You are the gooey gum,
Stuck to the desks of my mind,
And no matter what,
No matter how hard I scrape,
Little bits and pieces of you stay in the filaments of my brain,
Come closer darling,
Into the midnight,
Honey come home,
There's far too much at stake.
Cause the moon
It rests
On the breast of the sky.
Forever enchanting us with its presence,
As it glows incessantly,
It represents our love,
Powerful
and forever present,
Despite the time of day,
Or the month,
Or the year.
Trust me love,
little home
the eyeprints of love
all too big