Dante

You caught me in your net of wishful hoping, Pinned me down with needles and pins You didn't check if I was dead first but let me feel all the pain that you had in store for me, Why was it that you took me from my natural habitat and stripped me down until I was your definition of clean,

Let me be pressed down onto your emotions that soaked me of guilt and grief, Then letting me dry out until I was numb You glued me down to a back frame and let me be framed in the walls of your home,

Where no one entered and you kept me to yourself, You took my beauty out to fit your needs

I feel so little I feel so weak His words sting My cheeks feel hot, but my face is pale. My eyes are blurry I can not see My heart is beating as if a swarm of bees were attacking me I think that's why it stings My bones are brittle they're easy to break My head needs clearing I can't think. My hands are shaking I can't even write. It's loud in this room, people are yelling, people are screaming at me. Everyone is crying or maybe that's just the voices in my head, telling me that I need some sense He makes me feel so little I keep apologizing hoping that he understands I mean it. Hoping he will notice that I'm sorry. I don't know what I did wrong but I know a sorry it to come from me. Stay quiet Stay small Stay feeling as if you can't do anything in the world Shut up and hope for the best

We have both moved on for the best I am happy You are happy We are happy Not together, but the love for each other is loud enough like a scream on a early morning Your voice telling me "you have someone better now". You're right I do have someone better You tell me "you cry as if it's the end of the world" No, I cried like that because I was with you Now I haven't cried once because of the person I have now I have not cried because of the people who surround me now You talk about someone new and it pains me in my chest, Not because I wish I could be her Because I wish happiness for you I then realize I have found happiness in my self and others

I never thought I would give up my life so easily, I was taken back by your words and held onto them tightly. Now I still hold onto them, although I look at them with no trace of thought, I was never happy with you, I was scared and frail, You taught me many things, and told me I didn't deserve most of life itself. I had wished that I had put my life aside that day, but now I crave being alive. I crave seeing my future, and where it will take me. I look forward to seeing my partner and speaking with them. I am older and decided to save myself from the darkness your finger tips had held. My chest doesn't hurt before I sleep I want to live I want to decide for myself I want to love and hold my hands out

A rat is running around in my walls, I could hear his footsteps quick but heavy leaving a trial of misfortune and commotion, how did he end up in there I ask myself Who let him into my walls Is there a hole I do not know about? He gives away his spot and runs down to next open space he can get to before I find him, Leave I tell him and he does not understand Well of course he doesn't, he's a rat I try to reel him out with some cheese and nuts Although those do not satisfy him as much as my thoughts, Please go Mr. Rat I have suffered enough, your running is causing me a headache, My walls are weak and thin Maybe that's why you have ventured in It was an easy spot to lay and you stayed

Sleeping along side with you felt like a continuous dream, Their voice mellow and croaky as well as tired Your accent would slur as if you were drunk, And your breaths sounded like wind chimes on a early Saturday morning, The night would feel like watching a black and white movie, everything was colorless until I heard you look if I was still there with you Now every night I lay awake and having sleepless hours, wanting to see the colors you shared with me once more. Wanting to hear your bedtime stories about your life, Wanting to feel your hot breath on my skin while we sleep, All I can wish for now is to hear your mellow croak of the first breath you take once you wake.

Everyday you'd tell me I'm beautiful, You'd tell me my eyes are beautiful Like no one else's, but they're just brown I'd reply. Your face is pure and bright you'd say, But my face wasn't beautiful it was dull. Your smile lights up my day What a cheesy thing to say but your words meant felt like a sugary topping to my day, Your body is beautiful to me, I don't like my body but you made me feel like a goddess. You made me confident in myself until you crushed me down.