shake shake
did you hear that
thousand cry out making a river
many house gone
my family friend boyfriend girlfriend mother father sister brother aunt
are died or hurt no where to go
no food to eat
just because this earthquake i lost everything where do i go
i have no home no family what do i do
all i can do is cry and cry be it dont help all i feeel is a pain my eye are sollowing from crying
im hungry
i hate my self but i dont know why this feeling is here
It's nothing
My life is nothing
My other half is gone
I miss you so much it hurts
It hurts so much just to think about you
To think about how much I miss you
I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to forget how much I miss you
I want to scream and cry and hope that you hear me
Even if it's been a day
A year
More than a year
I still remember
I still remember how it felt
How much I cried
How you hurt me
There are many things I'd like to say sorry for
Tiny
Feeling trapped inside my own cage
My cage filled with regret, hate and never being enough.
Saying sorry wouldn't be enough
"I hate you" was what I told myself
I'll never be enough
I'll keep making mistakes
I'll keep making them until it's the only thing you'll remember of me.
You do many things for me
And that's the only thing I'll remember of you
You're an angel from the heavens, a saint
And that's what you'll ever be.
I try to be enough
I take care of you when you make mistakes
And I blame them on me, even if it was you.
I have a thousand things I want to tell you
But the words won't come out
My tummy aches
My throat hurts
I'm on the verge of crying
But I can't show until next day
I tried to tell them
Tell them about my demons
But I was too late
Now that they took over me
Nobody will believe
Believe that I struggled
I struggled keeping my demons from showing
From coming out in the daylight
They took over
And they hurt you
Now I can't apologize
I'm not allowed to
Because you won't believe me
Believe that I'm sorry
Tears won't even tell you how sorry I am
When I thought I was over her
I still wasn't over her
People say I drink too much
But it's not enough to make the pain go away
This pain
This never ending pain
It makes me wonder if there's any point in living
Your useless talk
The rubbish you speak
And the unwanted company I get from you and your stupid friends
Make me want to live for something
Everyday I walk alone
Alone in the dark
Alone in these empty streets
In which the darkness consumes the tiniest ray of light
Drunk I walk alone in these streets
You always seem to find me
Always worrying where I am
I know I must but I can't
I know you don't see me the way I see you
But it hurts
It hurts to think that I must move on
That I must forget you
I live in denial
I say to myself
That I'm not affected by this
That I'm not sad
That it doesn't hurt
That empty feeling?
That you're not needed
That even if you disappeared,
nothing would change
That your friends don't actually see you as a friend
and that the same goes for everyone else.
Is what I feel
Watching people whom I love forget me
Is what I fear
Putting the blame on myself instead of blaming the predators
Is what I do everyday
I dance on broken glass bearfoot as I try to balance my life
My sadness and fear
Is what I ate for lunch