I'm always late.
The class doesn't seem to mind;
They smile and smirk
In bemusement.
The life of the Comedian-
A weather-beaten,
Edge-trodden existence.
The role of the Spectator-
To expect
To laugh.
A hostage situation:
Peers press words
To my throat.
They may forget my gaunt gaze,
Sleep-deprecated eyes,
and drab attire,
Do not look at me
For all my hair has abandoned my body
I need you to be brave
Do not be like me, a slave
I have fallen
My wings broke
Colour has left my eyes
No more hair to stroke
Although I don't want you to leave
I'm the one leaving
I know you'll be sad
I know you'll be grieving
But rather live for me
And that's when you'll see
How good life can be
How much you're actually free
It fades away
Like my memories
It all fades away
Like my emotions
Please just stay
Because that's all I need
Right now
It fades away
So sick of life
So sick of this game
Don't want to play
So please stay
I don't want you to fade away
I try to tell you
That i'm dying
But you don't seem to care
That my soul is flying
You don't look suprised
You just sit there and laugh
As if you're smiling at me
On the Devil's behalf
I wish you'd stop for a moment
And see what's going on
Because I love you with all my heart
But I can't for long
I wish I could turn back time
to before it all went wrong
or to that time when I felt
the ashes burning under my feet as I walked through hell
When I was trying to climb the stairs to heaven
feeling the urge to see you once more
For I am only Frankenstein
a monster created by man
my past has made me who I am today
not the nice person you see before you
but the child of Dracula as some could say
You may wipe off my tears
but you will never understand
you may try to protect me
but when you see my real self
you will kill me once more
Every time I look into your eyes
I see a kind, broken heart
I see a shadow of the person you used to be
before the world turned dark
When I hear the stories about you
I realized that you died a little inside
I know you've been stomped and hurt
but I hope you can see the sun again
They say you are loud
but I know the silence is killing you
you are loud
because you're afraid that the sad and
loneliness will start speaking
You lost your touch
you say you are failing
but I personally think
I lost a friend
who could have been more
if distance wasn't so long
if she hadn't gotten so sore
every classic song
every shell at sea
did I think of her
as much as she thought of me?
would it have been different
if I tried a little harder
prayed a little more
said thank you to her father
could it have been better?
I don't think so
even if she weren't at her end
I'd still have to let go
third exams empty
but no questions left
shivers down my spine
God has committed theft
for good reason of course
yet your body still lingers
nothing could ever be as cold
as cold as your fingers
Am I really gloomy?
am I really sad?
am I really hurt?
is it really that bad?
Should it hurt?
is it normal to last this long?
after all, death is permanent.
but I didn't expect to constantly hear your song.
So here we go again,
thought for the day.
how am I supposed to deal with this?
when I can't even find my own way...
I ask you not to go,
when you've already left months back.
but I persist on clinging to your memory.
even when a mind is at lack.
It has been quite the while
Has it not?
Since I've written for you and to you
Though I still feel like I've been shot
What do I say?
Do I have the right to talk?
Would I even be able to?
To say what I want and walk the walk
Because I feel guilty
I feel regret and sorrow
I feel like it's just another now
And just another tomorrow
I want to say I'm sorry
But how do I?
When you are no longer here
When I never said goodbye
Have no faith
Have no hope
Always writing poems
That contribute one note
One of silence
One I cannot say
Told to keep isolated
Having no other way
Forced to stay quiet
Forced to shut down
Abandoning my control
Letting fall my crown
Well congratulations!
I yelled to myself in the mirror
I got promoted from side-chick to rebound
all he can think about is her
But what did I expect?
that he'd be happy with just me?
because he's worth not only the fight but the war
happy is all I want him to be
But how am I not enough?
I know it's difficult as hell
thought that I was unwanted
but then I fell
I tripped and saw him
I fell really hard
so what do I do now?
his heart is now scarred