It didnt hurt back then,
but it sure hurts now.
Now that i know i'm leaving,
But not just for a day.
This time i'm leaving for good.
i see you smiling,
and cant help but smile too.
you were my best friend,
but times have changed.
And now your with him.
the man i used too love.
i wish you the best,
and hope you dont get hurt,
the way i did.
Please hold me daddy.
And don’t let go.
Cause I really miss.
You daddy.
More then.
You know.
You said that you.
Would always be there.
By my side, Daddy why.
Did you go?
How come you lied?
Mummy won’t tell me.
I see her cry real late.
At night, she keeps.
Asking for you.
I cried today daddy so.
Sometimes I wish I could escape my mind.
Because my mind is driving me crazy.
Every word it says make me feel less happy, less beautiful and most of all less worthy.
I know I shouldn't listen to the voices in my mind, but there is that one voice that is telling me that maybe it's right what my head says.
Maybe I am disgusting,
Maybe I am a person that everybody hates,
And maybe I am better of dead.
So why not listen to my mind for once,
Would I be better of dead?
And most of all, would I be missed?
I am no good.
No good at everything.
Can't lay in bed all day even with depression.
Can't fullfill my eating disorder to a point where I need to be hospitalized even though I want to.
Because I want to be seen. So instead I cut, cause maybe people will care when they see how bad it is going.
But I am no good at cutting either...
So maybe I need to go to sleep and never wake up again. Maybe that is wat I am good at. And maybe people will finally see the broken me that is hidden behind my always smiling face.
But I know for sure that even if it is a case of life and death, I am no good at it...
Will I ever be good enough??
It started that morning,
When he awoke from the dream.
All his sorrows were seeds.
His town, a fallow field.
Inside his head, it was spring.
Time to plant, the voice hissed.
Mother stood in his way, trying to stop
What he knew must be done.
Time to prune, he thought.
Tools in hand,
He found the place
Where the children were.
The voice roared.
The pulse pounded in his ear.
He would not fail.
It rained
Trapped in between.
Leave or stay.
Leave,
your heart will be broke.
Stay,
my heart will be broke.
I seek with heart and soul
For a shiver of love
To run its bony claws
along my broken spine
my hand reaches
for that shining flame
and my fingers graze
its blazing core
yet I am unable to grasp it
I only burn my fingers
" A hand on your heart
you feel the beat
sometimes slow
sometimes fast
you know because of the sound,
that you are alive
though you are not living
One summer you had the chance to be happy
you could've been you
but you forgot and desired
now you is gone
now only you remain
but I'm hurt too
because you left me
and I miss you despite my efforts
I wonder why
I take your hand in mine
And whisper the language of love to you
my friend
You look at your hand in mine
And listen to the fluid language I speak
But shake your head
“My friend,
I do not speak that language”
I walk through life
With your shadow casting beside me
I wished that neither I spoke the language of love
But I do. And you don’t
My thoughts filter through the noise of the train
My hand whispers along the railing
On the other side
You wave at me and smile
People sometimes ask me
Why I walk alone on the playground
By myself
I tell them that I'm bored
And usually they scoff at me and walk away
That hurts a little.
I'm cold, all the time
Truth is that I miss him with every fiber in my being
I love him
And he doesn't love me.
They often stare at me
And laugh at me
Based on what I'm wearing that day
Sometimes they whisper behind my back
And say secrets that I never wanted anyone to know
I never knew
Funny how that works
I do so much work into trying to get you to notice
I curl my hair
Clear up my skin
Put on slightly tinted lip balm
Hoping you'll stare at my lips.
But no
My efforts are useless
You'll always be with her
She has blue eyes
Long blonde hair
Skinny waist.
I was a fool to think you'd like me.
I'm just that annoying background character
While your the hero.
I'm the person who gets chosen last