She looks over her shoulder
Expecting to see a pair of eyes
She becomes alert
At the slightest rustling of leaves
Expecting thieves
Will take her jewels away;
Frantically panics
When she sees snow or rain
Expecting the world's end.
Don't know how she sleeps in the night
Or works in the day
Bound to her chains of fear
A slave to her anxiety
Forever paranoid.
Two paths lie ahead,
Though neither I can take.
One leads to a disaster,
The other to destruction.
No doubt can there be.
No further can I go.
Turning back is no option.
The people who live there
In that angry city
Have no use for the odd ones,
Those who are different.
Therefore, that angry city
Has no use for me.
Two paths lie ahead,
Yet I search for a third,
A possible ray of hope
Beating the walls
Making a sound,
Tired of going unheard
Tired of being the mouse
Tired of sitting
Tired of waiting
For the one who never comes.
Beating the walls
Until they're full of holes
Like Swiss cheese.
Tired of staring
At those faded walls
Those stained monstrosities
They want me to call
My home.
Beating the carpet
A white crystal palace
Gleaming in the sun.
Very inviting it seems
Very calm
Very peaceful
Very happy.
Nothing dies in this place
Nothing breaks in this place.
The people rest at night
And dream happy dreams
Of joyous experiences
And cheerful things.
And from the outside
You can assume
You've seen happiness itself.
Inside
Lies,
Judgments,
Misunderstandings,
Hateful speeches shouted on platforms.
At the end of the day,
These are just
Words in the dark.
Memories floating in the air,
Like birds in the dark.
Memories in the dark,
Memories of what was said.
And feelings
Twisting into grudges
And doubts.
Feelings shapeshifting
And now they're
Take me away
From the iron city
Full of empty houses.
Houses where the empty people live,
The dried up people.
The people with ion souls.
Take me away
From that terrible place
Where what I am
Is not the same as what
They want me to be.
Take me away
From the iron cit
Before the iron people
Make me one of them.
Before the system fades me
I am always
Walking on quicksand.
Always on
The verge of sinking.
One more false step,
One more tiny movement
Away from the abyss.
Think I've only
Got 2 more minutes
Till I'll fall.
But the 2 minutes pass
And my head
Remains above ground.
Not sure exactly how
Or why.
Then a happy moment,
At the end of the day
And prevent me
From remaining in the light.
If I cannot step
Into the house
With the fluorescent lights,
Then we must both
Remain in the darkness
And the cold outside
With rage against the people
Who own the light.
Do not leave me
To go to that other place
Without taking me along
At the end of the day.
If I can't go,
A storm is gathering
On the ocean today.
The sea is churning,
Rumbling, foaming.
Sailors are panicked.
They must prepare
Because a storm is gathering
And there could be a disaster.
A storm is gathering
On the road today.
Drivers fear the worst
As they seek shelter.
But they don't know the area.
They don't know what's nearby.
And so they frantically
Scour the city
Every time I turn
The corner,
No matter where I am,
These figures stay behind me.
Always whispering,
Wondering why I am not
A wax figurine
Which someone put through a mould
And telling me
I am not good enough
The way I am.
And yet they wave
Their arms and scream that
They want me to be
Who I am, be myself,
That they don't want me
She feels like
She's being looked at
Under a microscope.
It's like she's a
Science experiment.
They always want
To examine every detail
Of her life.
It seems endless.
They will not
Be satisfied,
For they will always
Want to know more
And when they've learned
Everything there is to know,
They'll still want
I want to do it so badly;
The one thing I've promise not to do.
The thing people hate me most for.
The thing nobody notices I do.
The thing nobody expects me to do.
I want to do it...
So badly.