Almost every line here begins with "After," and that repetition is the point: the speaker is stacking up years of disappointment, one weight on top of another. The poem is about exhaustion that has gone past sadness. The speaker keeps trying to recover from heartbreak, tears and failed attempts, yet still doesn't feel okay. There's a flicker of wanting to disappear, quickly shut down by "But you can't."
Meeting someone seems to have offered a reason to try again, but even that doesn't bring relief. The speaker gives themselves pep talks ("you got this," "pick yourself back up"), and the body simply doesn't respond. That gap between what the mind says and what the body does feels painfully real.
The mood turns from weary to defeated. "After 16 years I'm finally done" sounds like surrender, and "you've won" suggests the speaker feels beaten by life itself, or by a pain they can't shake. The closing image of a broken "spirit universe" leaves a heavy, hopeless tone.