Pain
having so much to lose
and so little to gain
Caring for her so deeply
And it being in vain
Peace
someone unconditionally caring for you
Who's feelings and dedication never cease
One who gives everything to make you happy
And on that free buffet of his kindness you feast
Torture
Seeing your love with another man
When you're the one for her
Hearing her laugh and seeing her smile
While your eyes water and blur
Joy
Looking up at the overcast sky, wondering if my smile will return I pretend to play with my friends as I sway into solitude.
No one notices your pain
No one cares how you feel
No one wants to stay by your side
No one
Not until they see the scars
The ones you cut into your skin
Weather it was to get rid of the pain inside
Or to get someone to start caring
Either way you did it
And all of a sudden your old friends
Become new friends
They try to comfort you
But it's out of pity
They see you as a pitiful, weak, sad little thing
And in some cases a toy
That name brought life in me,like the moon fills the darkness with beauty.Oh darkness,the more you exist,the more I can see the stars that I love so much.The more you spread,the brighter the moon is that I'm in love with.
She was like the moon.But brighter,colourful.
But like the moon,there was a side she never showed.A young soul,filled with kindness,in a world asking for her hatered.A rebelious,trembling mess of stars.Through the ruins she made flowers grow.
Oh young soul,how much blood have you spilled for other's happyness?How many times have you knelled down acheing for their safty,brave one?How many times have I wished for your return,my friend?
Are you a star,my soul?
Maybe I shouldnt have said "hi" maybe I shouldnt have said "how are you?".Maybe i should have never let my name escape my lips.
Maybe just because im who i am,i should have never met you.Im sorry.
Im sorry for all the times i tried to be there,but i failed.
Im sorry for every time i told you about me,and failed you.
Im sorry i tried to keep things going with us,and i failed.
Im sorry im the way i am.
Im sorry,for this is what i do,what i always say,what i always feel.Asking for forgiveness.
Maybe i should just be with myself,for i was taught that people stay in your life,and eventualy,i got abandoned.Ommited.
Im so sorry i bothered you,maybe in the end im just a waste of space and time.
when i was a child,
days were longer,
friendships were stronger,
parents were giants,
siblings were friends and enemies,
school was exciting,
teachers taught riming,
boys had cooties,
teens were moody,
i laughed at immature things,
and played many games,
i thought naps were evil,
and imagination was better than anything in the universe,
the world was a playground,
lying was my own version of story telling,
I hated reading,
this page makes me happy,
this one makes me sad,
on this one i've fallen in love,
and this one i've fallen out,
this one takes me on an adventure,
and this one I make new friends,
this one they all die,
and i'm alone,
i come back home crying,
because of my lost friends,
until i close the book,
take a deep breath,
and open a new one,
starting the cycle again.
there she goes,
the girl they all hate,
she's just to oblivious to hear what they say,
she calls them her friends,
even when they say they are not,
she just can't see that they hated her from the start,
they tried to tell her,
even too her face,
but she brushed them all off with grace,
or rather oblivion,
she never saw she ment nothing to them,
but there she went the girl in oblivion,
and i use 'went' very loosely and say,
she simply did find out one day,
her heart was broken into thousands of pieces,
but non of them could careless,
Do you feel the same when I kissed your cheeks?
Said I was your first, sorry I ruined it
But what to do? I can't help but wanting you
I made it so obvious, I'm into you
Thought you were giving me signs
When all you did was caring for me
Because that's what friends are for
My intuition, I need to stop listening
I'm left feeling lonely
when you walked out the door
But still, when you sit next to me
My heart shatters, it knows yours won't beat the same
Sometimes I feel like I'm not the one for you
But I guess that's just me, or is it true?
Whatever happens, promise we'll still know each other
Don't be a new stranger, I'm done left alone
there is a boy
we'll call him todd
and before i go on
thank you todd
for those months you gave me
that friendship we had
i miss it and i know you don't care
anyways
i miss todd
i miss him dearly
every time i look his way it hurts me
i trusted him
i opened up my locked door to him
and he slammed it in my face a week later
i don't understand why todd is that way
he's scared
i'm not the perfect sister
or daughter
or friend
i'm not the best looking
or sounding
or thinking
i'm a failure
yes that is true
a name i'll wear proudly
because i was the first to call myself it
i'm not the best at remembering
or planning
or doing
i'm not the most talented at cooking
dancing
singing
It's easier to admit to
a higher power, when you're higher
than the clouds. Something does it,
easily throwing a bulls eye of light
against their white caps below. My eyes
don't dart to it, they settle softly
into its faded blue center. Who
questions it, what you can't
know? I knew the snow of his hair
that's now ash. I knew it, but I can't
know the why, or the how of its
sudden change. Or the when I'll follow.