My love , I'm scared
Please find me
I'm here sunken
In this sea of sorrows
Please search for me
I'm here lost
In my own mind
I'm buried into
This darkness inside
My heart
Listen my love
I'm scared
Please find me
My heart is pounding
My body is sweating
What am I doing?
What am I feeling?
Why I find this emotion, really appealing?
Can my eyes believe the things I'm seeing?
I keep on blushing
Never stopping
I have this weird feeling
I think I love him, but I keep on fearing
Whatever his reaction, If I admit my feelings
When I talk to you I have difficulty breathing
I have difficulty in moving, difficulty in speaking
I want to show you... I have feelings for you
But why can't I say, "I love you"
Whenever you're beside me, I am always merry
Open your eyes and you see me.
Take off your disguise and so will I.
Look around and see the world.
It's not perfect harmony but it works.
With every decision you must risk something.
Till there is nothing left but to risk yourself.
Put your heart in a blender and watch it spin into a beautiful oblivion.
i don't care if the whole world considers me a villain
they could all die and i wouldn't blink
but my darling, when it's you
my heart shatters and the broken shards pierce my
lungs with each breath
i screamed at the stars
and cried in the rain,
breaking my nails
as i tried to claw the broken thing out
of my chest.
but it didn't do any good.
it never will
because the broken isn't in me.
i woke up late last night to shrill ringing.
my phone lit up, your contact picture glowing in the dark.
i thought about all the times you hurt me
and the people who tried to get involved,
the people who tried to tell me this is wrong.
i thought about your hand on the small of my back,
claws coming out every time i opened my mouth.
i thought about how much you always smelled like weed
to the point that i searched the crowd every time someone smoked.
and i answered.
like nothing ever happened.
like my heart wasn't folding in on itself.
is this love?
after years
and years
and
years
of feeling,
one day it's like my brain was done
like a switch was flipped inside my soul
like all my feelings had been felt, poured out 'til not a drop was left
like my heart was placed in a coma, beating not living
but i don't think it'll wake up
because i'm not so sure there's anything left
to pull it back to
life
ruffled hair
lazy trails
ice burning skin
this is not my story to tell
hushed whispers
thundering hearts
citrus candles aflame
these are not my scars
acrylic nails
soft sheets
light melodic laughs
yet my nightmares are filled with nothing else
my heart has conversations with you every day
holding on for what could have been
even as this silence fills the space between us
and she's already talking to someone else
pretty and funny and full of witty conversation
they're just phone calls and text messages
but every ring sends an ache in my heart
a jolt down my spine
i can feel it looming just over the horizon
the inevitable distancing as i'm once again left behind
for a shiny new toy
I hadn't thought of you in weeks ,
maybe days. . .
Sometimes I forget , that I make myself forget about you
Until one day , you changed .
but everything stayed the same .
she brought you up today .
I don't think they knew
I was keeping a tally in my head .
counting how many days it would take to forget you .
or how long it would take for the ache in my heart to go away
so here I am ,
tears running down my face ,
reminding myself
you don't love me,
& what she said can't be true
because I thought I had just forgot about you .
She is the girl called X ,
small and quaint
strong and sweet
but no one will ever know that .
because physically she is not special
on the outside
she is the girl called X
on the inside she is a glaxay of stories
a mind full of love
and a heart full of beautiful blemishes
but you will never know that
because she is the girl called X .