Missing from 'home',
Parents searching.
Can't look back,
Now I'm running.
Sirens in the distance,
Calling me there.
I grin at the pitiful,
Attempt at care.
I don't give a damn,
If they say they love me.
When all is dark,
Their true feeling I see.
And I know I can't,
Go telling people.
Why do they need,
To see how I weaken?
The wind taking control,
Making me sway and bend,
To its silent command.
The music filling my mind,
With beautiful harmony,
And harsh demands.
Lavender and rosemary,
Put on a display,
Intoxicating our senses.
Around me,
Others pay no attention,
Caught in their own dances.
Images and flashbacks,
Broken ties,
Are long gone tonight.
In the air and everywhere,
Loving you and knowing, you won’t, hurts
Crying deep within, but a broad smile on the face, hurts
Not being a part of the special day, hurts
Wishing for your happiness, at the cost of my tears, hurts
Looking into the wall to find you with the others, hurts
More than a decade, but breaking heart in 10 seconds, hurts
Realization of not being a part of your life, hurts
Not able to share the feelings, hurts
You being like others, who left, hurts
You not choosing me, hurts
Moreover, it hurts that these things are not even half of what the mind feels!
Anniversary…
their teeth can now kiss
without their mouths
Such language,
the battered can
rolling north
The horse
and the spider,
either side of the field
My thumb against
the heel of my other hand…
slowed pulse
I’m risky,
rain on my stubble
and breath
One broken blade
two days ago i invited everyone to lunch
because god i miss that warmth and buzz in the air
two hours ago i canceled while faking a cough
because god i just wanna be alone
i practice disappearing for days on end
so that when i leave
no one will notice
until i am long gone and long forgotten
it happened again,
i jolted awake with a bloody murder scream
burning a hole into my throat.
it happened again,
i reached out for a hand
that wasn't there.
it happened again,
my heart stopped dead
as i realized i was alone.
I am empty .
Theres nothing special about me.
I am just here .
Of course you don't notice me ,
sometimes I barely notice me too .
It's like I am not even alive
sometimes.
It's like I am a ghost .
You never know they're there .
They could be sitting right next to you .
Empty , like the bottle .
Empty , like my stomach .
Empty , my heart
after you .
I thought I wouldn't get hurt
I thought I'd never shed a tear
I thought it was a perfect mask
To pretend to know no fear.
That smile, I've worn as a mask
That smile, that I can't erase
That smile, that seems so real
Is just a perfect facade.
In one moment it all came back
In one moment it swept me off my feet
In one moment you broke me apart
By you're insensitive words and speech.
With those, emotions flooded me
With those, I'm again writing a poem
With those, I just want to stay here
Here in the corner where I'm alone.
It is an interesting feeling,
Feeling nothing.
When something should send you reeling,
You stare blankly into the abyss.
Perhaps you've seen it before?
Perhaps not.
Maybe it's all that you abhor,
But it's been dulled down far enough.
The thunderous roar of the party;
And yet,
You've decided rather smartly
You'd rather be somewhere else.
It's not happiness, no;
Just noise.
Finding somewhere to go,
But it won't leave you alone;
I am reliable,
I am strong.
I'm Mr. Go-getter!
I'm never wrong!
I'm a jokester.
Lifting you high,
I'm here for you;
So don't you cry.
Don't worry about me;
I'll be alright.
So long as you're doing ok,
I'll be fine.
I'm so relatable;
I see your side,
I'll be your example,
Fill you with pride!
You left me all alone here
You left, and walked away
You left me all alone here
But it's fine
I'm used to pain