I look out my window to see the stars shining bright
The constant twinkling in the sky my very own lullaby
So I close my eyes but can not sleep for the stars would haunt my dreams
Now I glance out my window pane and hope they'll come to me
Because stars are the only friends I have that will never leave
And I can depend on them to brighten up the dark
I can also tell them secrets hidden deep within my heart
Star's the only thing I know that will never stray
Star's how I want them to be here with me in day
Star's I love how they can never bring me pain
So I wish upon a star to come take me away
To take me from this wicked world and all its wicked ways
The stars could come and take me
When no one else was there,
You were the first one I could count on,
You always seemed to care.
But nothing lasts forever
In the end, you changed.
You said I was your first choice,
But now I am just an option.
I used to believe in you
You made me happy.
I miss everything that was real about you,
You were the only one who kept me going.
Now I am left alone.
I didn't know that being alone was this hard.
I know you've moved on , at least you're happy.
But I don't know why I keep getting angry.
Why was it easy for you to forget
Loneliness comes over you in the strangest of all moments
It takes just a song
A song that overwhealms you with this strange feeling
And you keep listening to it
Again and again
But that feeling lasts
It has its claws deep in your heart
And suddenly you start crying
Eventhough you don't really know why
So here I sit
Crying
Unable to understand why
Hoping that feeling will go away
But it doesn't
It stays with me
Stays with me like an unwelcome companion
She walks across the school campus,
She crys,
Blood drips down her arm,
She wonders how no one sees her,
The school is full of people,
She doesnt notice.....
I see her,
Others see her,
I want to help her,
They want to help her,
She walks away.....
We cry for her,
We wish we could have helped her,
But its too late...
Shes gone.
This adulthood doesn't suit me
It's hard to adapt.
I need humans to talk to but I got used to Google as it's easier.
I have a few but I need someone.
Am I sick of them ? I'm not definitely.
I'm longing to have someone for me.
Only me. Is it too much to ask for ?
To the one, I can share everything.
My love, friendship, life.
Friend or lover ? Anyone but for me. Am I possessive? I'm desperate.
Someone to take care of me,
To support me, To listen to me,
To share my happiness and sadness,
To hug me, To roam with me,
To laugh and watch movies with me,
To text me, dance with me,
The girl who loves to be alone
Now fears to be lonely
The girl who smiles easily
Now fake a smile
The girl who loves to hear music
Now lives in it
She isn't the same, she changed a lot
She stayed quiet for a reason
You know why, uh?
She wants to make them happy
She wants to make their problem go away
She loved them more than her
To give them happiness she lost her own
So she remained silent
Life is just a pattern,
there is nothing new,
nothing special.
The same old thing,
day after day.
Nobody cares,
nobody notices,
it is good that nobody notices.
If they noticed,
they would only get hurt.
If they tried to love,
they would be heartbroken,
their heart’s would die.
I do not want to hurt them,
so it would be safest just to go.
I'm just a brick wall
Sitting here proud and strong
But it comes with a price
I'm always alone, no people to lean on me
If I crumble there's no one to repair me
So that day when I crumble
I'll just sit there
More broken than I am
The enemy doesn't stop beating on me
Pounding me, trying to get me to crumble
Sometimes people come and help
But usually they leave before the enemy is done
The enemy slowly beats me, the brick wall, down
And when they finally manage, it's chaos inside
There is nowhere safe to hide
They can only stand and fight
I want to stay with him all the time,
I wanted to hug he and say
"It's okay, you did it right."
I want to read a book with him,
I want to cook for he,
I also want to feel his warm body,
I want to hear his voice,
I want to be the only girl in his mind,
I want to hold his hand,
I want to feel loved too,
I want to stay with him all the time,
But can I get him?
Just because he doesn't exist?
A few days before the new year 2022,
I haven’t felt anything FUN this year,
Not much has changed, I haven’t felt anything.
NOTHING
No one saw me,
No one talked to me,
No one met me,
No one hear me,
No one love me,
No one wants me, not even myself.
Maybe I just grew up a little bit,
Depressed about death and
Ended up loving someone who didn’t exist
Or
Someone who didn’t know I existed, again.
Don't show feelings,
Never react to something,
Don't look them in the eye,
Don't show the suffering,
Never utter a word.
They never think that you are the one,
They're just using you,
For something they don't want to touch.
So just do it,
That's how they show the 'love',
Don't be fool,
You know it from the beginning.
Did you tell them that you wanna die?
Yeah? So do they believe it?
They think it's a joke? right?
HAHAHAH, I knew it,
at 20, I danced with men who smelled of Polo cologne
thinking only of me
at 30 when I nursed my baby, I
had no thought to ever wash my hair again
at 40, I drove the kids’ car pool all day
without complaining
at 50, I sat up past midnight waiting for teenagers to come home,
fearing the worst
at 60, I sat up past midnight waiting for my husband to come home,
thinking of divorce
at 70. I sit alone
waiting for these memories to die