As we changed
our relationship changed too.
We used to play and laugh together.
So much fun every day.
As we changed
I let you go,
smiling and happy for you.
"Don't worry I'm not mad" I said.
As we changed
The life tear us appart.
How many days has passed since then.
You're happy now.
As we changed
I'm wondering...
As if we never knew each other,
we don't talk anymore.
everything i've ever loved-
my mom,
pillow forts in the living room,
having my hair brushed,
butterfly kisses,
my dad,
suffocating hugs,
laughing until i can't breathe,
tickle fights,
stargazing,
my amorcito,
a home-
has become everything i've ever lost.
why?
why can't i keep a semblance of happiness in my life?
do i not deserve it?
Was it enough?
To love your heart
Now were apart
Was it enough?
When our love is real
But pretending nothing i feel
Was it enough?
When i said goodbye
And then you cry
Was it enough?
When everything turns dust
But you hold my hand
Was it enough?
When i feel alone
You come along
Was it enough?
Another December without you
I hold my warm coffee
Sitting outside my house
Dreaming you came.
I miss your voice
I miss your smile
And that moments for a while
I miss your touch
I miss your hugs
And that moments for a while
I miss your kiss
I miss your three words
And that moments for a while
I miss how we walk under that street light
I miss how we slowly dance
And that moments for a while
had
you
at sunset
lost
you
at dawn
At the click of the mouse -
History is on.
Switch off History
At the next.
At a click are gone -
Memories,
Love, longing
Rage, Sorrow
The moments you spent -
With me.
No, the next will not
Bring them back.
I shudder to think -
If in real, as in that virtual
You would flick - me off
With a click.
Twelve.
Waking up from fitful dozing
I heard the yelling and screaming
Of boys bypassing the bus in their bikes
Screaming, “ Happy New Year!”
I look around my fellow passengers –
We have yet a long way to reach home
There wouldn’t be much of a New Year celebration
For us; I love my fellow travelers.
I fall into a reverie, remembering New Years –
Ruefully, I remember those, drunken, partying kinds
That of lying in the middle of a highway at night
That of dizzying hopping from bar to bar
That spent on the top of a hill, shivering in the cold
That by the side of the sea where I would part with my love.
I remember the New Years, lacklustre, spent at home
Crackling cellophane
As the packet opens-
Aroma of tobacco.
Fingers a- trembling, brain a- tickling.
The glowing butt, curling smoke
As the tip touches one’s lips-
Tingle! Deep intake of smoke
Seeps in settling, satiating one’s blood.
Rings dancing in the air
Wafting away into nothingness
Only a fragrance remains-
Then that too, like you, is gone forever.
Was rough
I was teased
I was raped
I was pregnant
I was made fun of
I was left out
I was trouble in school
I was abused by alot of men
I was handcuffed a few times
I was never arrested
I never had any friends
I went to a special needs school
I had fights everyday
I had a miscarriage
I lost alot of loved ones
I had alot going on
Have you seen
Time is going by
Always moving forward
like the arms of a clock
pushing me forward
when I want to go back
I can't take my time
time hunts me
time wants me
time hates me
I want to...
not move on
I want to stay here
make it right
hide from time
and then...
The question dances
On my lips
You tell me
I seem to forget
You have changed
Not for the better
We used to be friends
Who did this to you?
Change is melancholy
You lose people
You didn't want to
But it happened
"Let it go," you say
But I can't..
His name was Tim McKay,
And he seldom had anything to say.
But he came to the club regularly
And listened to all our discussions.
He'd nod his head and smile,
And give us a toothy-giggly grin,
And he always seemed to understand.
Tim has gone on now.
And we all miss him down at the club.
We used to sit and talk to Tim for hours.