part 29/why
i was never the one for you.
i thought that.
i really believed that.
fell in love with the idea of us.
but,
i don't know why.
what does everyone else have that i dont?
why could it not be me
what did i do wrong.
Poems on the topic: love
Poems on the topic “love” on Poets.by.
you dont
it's a hard concept to grasp
you could care
but you don't.
not at all.
and everything i'm holding onto,
i must let go of.
but the thing is
i want to lay in your bed
and just figure out life with you.
come over to talk
i wish you would come over.
now that my plate is cleared
i wish you'd come over for some closure.
but the closure they talk about in songs,
that never actually solve anything.
it's a bad cycle,
it's not good for the soul or the mind
but it's good for the body.
how could anyone say it's bad for the body when we fit so perfectly inside of each other?
our bodies find our match.
the other half that fits in every part of us.
the way you push the hair out of my face.
the way you held my hand so gently
to way your hands wrapped around my neck and scratched down my back.
a perfect fit.
a perfect love.
part 24/realization
i think i am finally starting to feel shame in that night.
we are not okay.
and it is because of that night.
maybe i am starting to realize,
it really is best to put it behind us.
a part of me still wants to do it again,
but
i am learning that
that night was not acceptable.
what was done, was done out of lust.
what i longed for to be out of love,
simply was not.
what i thought was amazing,
simply just could not be.
it still leaves me wondering,
did you do everything out of drunken but real love,
too much
i loved you too much.
more than you deserved.
dont ask me to do that
i think what my problem is,
is either i love him with every ounce of blood inside of me
or i dont.
i don't think i could ever be just friends with him again.
i understand what you mean about opening up the wound over and over again
it really does hurt
but i'm scared that one day
i wont feel anything anymore.
i don't want that.
maybe you do
but i dont.
i'm trying to learn how to turn my back on you
something i've never had to do to anyone.
so don't you dare ask me to do that to you
-someone i love.
my heart is on my sleeve
calling your phone
i wish i was still in the back of your mind
like you are mine.
so when i call you
it's like temptation calling you.
but you just keep pressing decline.
true colors of you
does your heart feel lighter now that i'm not there?
now that i'm walking away.
i'm accepting that you are water slipping through my fingers and i just cannot hold onto you no matter how desperately i try to grasp onto you.
i miss your true colors,
but i'm still finding out more and more about you.
sometimes you're a bright yellow, that shines as bright as the sun.
some days, you're a dark black that's darker than the skies at 3 a.m
and although i want to love each and every color you show to me,
i just simply can not hold onto you any longer.
i started to love you more than i was loving myself and it's tearing me apart.
i still don't love myself like i love you,
how my mornings go
i wake up in the morning
and you're still my first thought.
most mornings, you never even left my mind.
i've been dreaming about you all night as well.
last night in particular,
i never stopped thinking about you.
i went to bed with you on my mind
i dreamt about meeting your family last night and sitting in your lap while you braid my hair as i got ready to go to dinner with them.
and then, this morning at 9:28 am,
i searched my phone to see if you had texted me.
i wish i could tell you every time i dream of you,
but it would be almost every day.
how i miss you
i miss him
no not like how the sun misses the moon because they dont
they have never even met long enough to say that
but i miss him more deeply than that
i miss him like how i miss him
you
i wonder if you look for songs that remind you of me
i'm looking for parts of you in everything i listen to.
lungs
swimming helps with the feeling of suffocation
challenging yourself to be active without air
i love the feeling of the lack of air
when i talk to you, i get the same feeling
i still have air in my lungs but i can't breathe
fuzz and static fills my brain
i cant hear anything
my heart pounds hard in my chest
trying to move oxygen around my body
you make me breathless
the feeling is addicting
i cant get enough
your words wind me
i lose all thoughts
the screen blurs
i'm drowning in love
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