I did this really stupid thing called falling in love.
Peoples parents do it all the time
The way they described it seemed so joyous
But it's not so great after all.
I fell in love.
But the person I fell for didn't catch me.
I fell into a pit of disparity.
And landed on nails I think they were labeled loneliness.
Then the person I fell for helped me up
But they dropped me
I guess my emotions were to heavy
I ended up being stabbed in the back
By broken glass but they had heart written all over them in sharpie.
I hesitantly took the person's hand again and they helped out of the deep hole
They held me tight and rested their hand over my heart
I felt something dig into me
I'm happy and depressed
Mad and sad
Lonely and suffocated
Wanting to cry but to aware of the fakeness of these tears
Wanting to thrash around but staying as still as a statue
Afraid of living but tired of dying
This is my cry for help
Because I'm unable speak up
Always showing a smile but speaking violently
Hating my thoughts but loving my opinions
Scared of the dark but i fell for the black space that surrounds me
I'm as silent as a mouse while i scream for help at the top of my lungs
Please help me let me solve my own problems
I'm not bipolar my emotions are always together
A marriage of 4 that never divorces
Breaking me into one piece
And the Sun told the Moon that it will scatter segments of its heart at night so that it won't ever have to be alone. And thus stars were born
And you looked so peaceful when you slept. Unbothered and untouched. Letting all the emotions of days and weeks and years fade away slowly, until what was left was just.. You. You, in your purest form.
No war. No grief. Just calming, deafing silence.
And how I loved to see you like this. How I'd love to have this memory encraved in my mind. If I could never forget it, I'd hold it forever behind my eyes. But my eyes never layed upon you.
And every day, I forgot more about you, little by little, more and more. And still, every day it felt like I remembered you more than yesterday.
How I'd love to always remember you.
I would rather die than let you be forgotten.
It was fun when I thought about loving again
What a weird thought to start the day.
Like thinking about wine or champagne when you're still hung-over,
Or like thinking about that sitcom everybody but you hates.
Pain is a thing that people must face anyway,
I mean, isn't pain part of the package deal?
I remembered when she held me years ago
Her hands were as cold as uncooked cordon blu.
I think she was scared or maybe it was me
I dunno, I couldn't remember.
That was great.
Well, at least I held her hand
It even took me a bloody month.
Love is a dreadful concoction
It's amazing how people like to keep on drinking.
Soberiety comes like a stab to the side,
Remember that first time when
you saw the most beautiful girl
that your eyes have ever
seen?
That very first moment when
she said "hi" when Billy passed by
the hallway,
that very place
where you would
awkwardly stand from
the distance.
hoping. waiting. craving.
that she would notice your existence
and that she would love you back
even when you know the truth
that she never will.
It would be awesome to
try and get that girl's phone number (I hope she
has a phone).
Imagine how awesome it
would be
to like
get lost in her
eyes and love her for more than
a billion lifetimes.
Losing myself in
her smile may mean more to me
than finding dreams.
loving her would be an adventure
I will not let this pass.
i just hope to get a hold
of those cold, slim and silken
i once knew a boy who filed my heart with joy,
he made me laugh,
he made me cry,
and he'd always say "you and i",
never us,
it didn't matter much,
he still had my heart clutched,
in his palms,
not wanting to let go,
i wish he did though,
i wish he'd just let go,
and not gone away,
leaving me to wonder why he didn't stay,
why he never asked me to run away,
to be with him,
alone in the world,
one day i'll be gone and you'll wonder what went wrong,
one day i'll feel free again and you'll be stuck wandering,
through the streets asking for me,
searching for me,
crying out for me,
and i'll be gone,
i won't leave a trace behind,
so you'll never find me,
one day you'll miss me,
and wish that you'd kissed me,
and loved me,
and kept me,
one day i'll be on top of the world while you're stuck down under,
still asking,
"if you see this girl could you give her my number?"
i should be use to this.
i should be use to the stamped.
i should be use to the giggling.
i should be use to the kisses and hugs.
i should be use to the happiness and joy.
but since i have not felt them in so long it feels foreign.
it shouldn't.
but it does.
and even though i do have the love now that I've wanted for long,
i just can't help but feel that it's all fake.
that it'll go away when i least expect it.
i shouldn't feel this way, but i do.
i do, i do, i do.
maybe I'm just being paranoid.
but maybe i'm, just maybe I'm right.
I am made for you
You are don't made for me
I hope without hopeness
Without certain
I wait as a poor religious man waits for the glories of Heaven
I hope as like the suicidal hope to silence the pain
I wait with the heart and with arms wide open
Knowing that my body will warm you in the cold
I expect nothing but your presence
I know i'm yours
So much that I know you are not mine
Because I was made for you
But,
You were not made for me
I would like you to kiss me
If you were loved me
If you were stay with me and you were hug me
If you were touch me
i would like you to kiss me
If you were looking in my eyes
If you were sayed something
If you were smiled for me
I would like you to kiss me
Affectionately
If you were my best friend and my greatest love
I would like you to kiss me
just kiss me
I would like you love me
If you were love me too much