I see you, but I won't look
You just mean business
You're by the book
And I know your reasons
To keep on coming by
But keep it to yourself
I don't want to decide, no
You're just a noise
Just some more static on my screen
And if I listened, and I won't
I'd have to make a scene
It's just so hard to keep it still and keep myself at bay
And though I really want to, I'll need you to go away
I've paid off my problems, lord knows what I had to give
So why won't you just leave me be and let me live?
Why do you stay? You just keep knocking on my door
We were just getting started
It's my heart that you kept
In silence we parted
In silence you left
The girl who loves to be alone
Now fears to be lonely
The girl who smiles easily
Now fake a smile
The girl who loves to hear music
Now lives in it
She isn't the same, she changed a lot
She stayed quiet for a reason
You know why, uh?
She wants to make them happy
She wants to make their problem go away
She loved them more than her
To give them happiness she lost her own
So she remained silent
If this silence lengthens
To weeks, months – why, even years
You might not learn it when I die.
If we are never to meet again,
You will never see the lines
That ravage my face.
If we are never to talk again
You will never know
That you were there
Always in my thoughts.
You shrug, says ‘so what?’
‘What if you died –
Everyone does, don’t they?
What if you got old –
Everyone does, don’t they?
What if
My ears are rattled,
Pained by the volume,
Plugs to prevent damage,
The silence is deafening,
Not a sound can be heard,
Not a word nor a laugh,
Left for me to interpret,
The silence is deafening,
Not a thought is uttered,
Not an emotion expressed,
No tone of voice,
The silence is deafening,
I look you straight in the eyes,
Express how I feel,
No reaction is given,
The silence is deafening,
Opening up to you,
Placing my heart in your grasp,
Firmly implanted,
Confident of your care and love,
My feelings bottled up for so long,
A weight is finally released,
Slowly floating to the clouds,
Feeling light again,
Happiness comes upon me,
Anxious to hear your response,
With a bounce in my step,
A sparkle in my eyes,
Not having felt this way in so long,
Being fearful of love,
I long for your acceptance,
Long for your love,
Cold and dark,
Surrounded by silence,
My eyes wander,
Heart’s pounding,
A whisper in the distance,
My ears perk,
Desperate for a sound,
For an interaction,
My eyes close tightly,
Concentrating on nothing,
Hoping for signs of life,
Hoping for something,
The whisper begins to fade,
As my mouth shuts,
No longer feeling the need to speak,
To deny myself of reality,
Born into this world,
All alone,
Tears streaming down my face,
Knowing no one,
Illness isolates me,
Abuse holds me in tatters,
Shyness makes it all the more difficult,
Alone I feel at home, at church, in class,
Fearful of talking to women,
Fearful of rejection,
Fearful of opening up to others,
Alone I am in the end,
When I awake in the morning,
Go to sleep at night,
I hear the crickets chirp,
Not another soul in sight,
One failure after another,
Similar trends are noticed,
In the women I fall for,
In how the relationships go,
Bad luck is one possibility,
But why so consistent?
Bad taste is another,
But that’s not the constant,
I’m the constant,
The common denominator,
The only reasonable solution,
The inevitable perpetrator,
I give generously,
Receive minimal in return,
Yet I put forth every last effort,
Trying to make things work,
I'm done.
I'm sooo done.
Expressions flattening.
All for You.
Ah, yes, this is your way.
Your usual way.
Walls building.
Always for You.
You think it's okay with me to just insult me like this?
YES?!
I see.
That's the way it is, then.
No more words.
You. Me.
You. Me.!
Safety breaking.
Zipped lips, no sound
Trying to communicate
But there's no love around
Eyes dry, tears to come
I feel so emotionally weak
I want to speak but feel dumb
Fighting works, silence sucks
Just talk to me already
Everything is just mucked up
Don't hate you, not close
I just hate what you do
Every hypocritical dose
No sorry, never is
We both go on as always
No relationship like mine and his
The quiet is an endless street,
a street with glass and metal stabbing my very soul,
it has left my skull broken, my thoughts left flying, can you hear them, the screaming and the killing thoughts,
I was left on this quiet and empty street, never to be heard,
never to be spoken with my own real words, only silence lingers ,
only my thoughts are left and my broken skull,
mingled together to create my very quit being.