To realize only that a note cannot be written
as one would a word or phrase;
a soliloquy does not pierce the flesh
where a melody would resound within.
To know one's thoughts are one and the same:
like a twisting river it flows deep throughout—cannot truly be known through word or phrase.
No, it must be felt. It must be borne.
It must be lived.
There she sits
Late at night
The paper her canvas
The words her colour
She's good with words
Written not spoken
But not today
Today she lacks the words
The feelings too overwhelming
She realizes she might start falling
Falling for him
Is it worth it
Fear
Hurting
Waiting
Feeling
You, who perfected all my bad times.
You, who excelled healing my wounds.
Just you, who made me write those words.
Nothing,
Just
You.
I know that my words are insufficient.
But,
I don't really know how to describe you...
The suitable words haven't been in any dictionary yet.
Sometimes, when I pause
After a burst of machine-gun
Tapping at the keyboard
And read what I typed in
I discover gaps - a word,
sometimes
Two words or more -
Phrases that had passed through my brain
But failed to reach, fast enough
to the tips of my fingers
Though I can type blindfolded
Though I tap in unblinking
Thoughts that had formed in my mind
Words that had formed in my head
Murmured at my lips -
Slipped -
My ears are rattled,
Pained by the volume,
Plugs to prevent damage,
The silence is deafening,
Not a sound can be heard,
Not a word nor a laugh,
Left for me to interpret,
The silence is deafening,
Not a thought is uttered,
Not an emotion expressed,
No tone of voice,
The silence is deafening,
I look you straight in the eyes,
Express how I feel,
No reaction is given,
The silence is deafening,
Able to read the paper,
Able to read a report,
Able to read an essay,
I'm illiterate in love,
A child's happiness I can read,
An animal's too,
Reading the dictionary with no problem,
I'm illiterate in love,
I enjoy reading comics,
Poetry and blogs,
Fiction and non-fiction,
I'm illiterate in love,
The words spelled out for me,
Pushed directly in front of my face,
I squint and ponder,
Over-analyze and debate,
you can tell me you love me all you want,
but i'll never believe you.
too many people have said it that haven't
truly meant it.
now i'm numb to the 4 letter word
She said sorry way too often like it was a greeting
It was her favorite word cause she labeled herself as a disaster
She felt sorry for not being good enough for anyone
Cause no one ever told get that she was good enough
No one ever told her that she was much more than the earthquake she created in her head
She was just too sorry for breathing around people
i hate you
i hate you
i used to tell you that all the time
while secretly hoping you wanted to be mine
but if i were to see you now
i wouldn't say it but to you, i also wouldn't bow
i know why i cant say it
and it's not because i fell back in love with you or some shit
it's because when i used to say it
i didn't mean it
and i've always been non-confrontational
so the reason i can't say it
is because over the years
it became true
so there's only one thing i have left to say;
i hate you
"i love you,"
it's a 3-word phrase that
when taken out of context
is seemingly simple
but, in my humble opinion
pushing the idea of love on anyone is
sickening
because
"i love you"
doesn't always mean
"you're my everything"
and
"i love you"
doesn't always mean
"you're my forever"
and maybe
Give me a sign
no actually, don't
I thought it would help me
I now know it won't
with every word
my brain drifts away
to why you would say that
and what I should say
left in the darkness
my options are few
I might have had chances
those chances, I blew
So give me a sign
show me what to say
help me with kindness
to make things okay