two days ago i invited everyone to lunch
because god i miss that warmth and buzz in the air
two hours ago i canceled while faking a cough
because god i just wanna be alone
it's always about poor, pitiful you.
you always have problems heavier than the weight of the world.
you tell me your troubles,
big and small,
like i'm the one supposed to stop them.
and if i don't?
you won't pick up the phone
just to see how i'm doing
or to stop my emotions from killing me slowly.
because there's no point in love
if they aren't giving you something.
don't trust me when i say we're best friends
or we wear matching necklaces
or i say i'd rather spend time with you than anyone else
because nothing lasts forever and
love can be
faked
unrequited
empty
Days pass and I am Unnoticed,
By the girl I have been dreaming of,
By the girl who made everything in my life a little better.
By the one girl who can steal my heart but I can't steal hers.
I wish it was me, not another fool,
With each passing hour, minute, second,
Everything stops when I see her,
But to her, I am nothing but..
A friend.
At least to her;not to me.
Somewhere in between our laughs and jokes.. I fell.
Hard.
I wish I didn't have to fall like that,
It hurt.
The feeling of uncertainty,
Knowing she'd pick anyone over me.
Were we friends? More than friends?
I never questioned until you left.
What's the definition of best friend?
Make me understand.
I need you to talk to me like we used to.
Am I going overboard?
I don't know if your lover thinks of you
but I miss you like crazy.
I thought my memories were long gone.
I felt stupid for that.
Never did I know, they were hidden
All deep down inside me.
I envy everyone with their best friends
Are they all the same like us?
Were you true to me? I got trust issues.
None were real. Did you ?
Yeah , you are a monster
You eat my brain
You drink my mind
You live in there
Yep, you give me troubles
You make my head burst
You made me a psycho
You never left me
That's why my dear darkness
You are my best friend.
You were like a star to me.
You have always been for me.
Either if it's day or night
You cared,loved, protected;
Like a brother, friend
More than a friend;
Yeah, best friend.
Everytime when i look at the stars
That reminds me of you
They say dead souls become stars.
Are you a star ?
Do you still check on me?
I missed you when you were gone
I still do.
So, my dear best friend;
You are the brightest star i knew
You tell me nothing's wrong
But I see right through that lie
You say "go away" and "it's private"
hoping I don't know what's going on
But I know,
what it's all about.
You pretend that nothing goes wrong,
trying not to hurt me,
but I know, and it hurts.
It kills me inside,
makes me feel useless to you,
if not a toy.
Yet I pretend that nothing's wrong,
I carry on my normal life.
I say nothing's wrong,
and you can't see through my wall
Dictionaries are books of revelation.
You never knew what words really meant
You took them for granted
You assumed
You had always thought so
You thought that’s what people meant
Until told otherwise by the dictionary.
Shall we look up the word, ‘friend’?
The word, in my hitherto life I have used
So wantonly.
I assumed it meant what I thought I felt
For certain individuals I liked more than others.
Certain individuals who were in my thoughts
More often than not.
Those for whom I felt affection
Those for whom I ached
In the claustrophobic cubicle
(the reason none other dare use it)
That is my exclusive toilet,
At the stroke of midnight
We engage in a silent conversation.
I sit on the seat, hardly a foot away from her.
Twisting myself awkwardly, I strain to focus.
in the dim light, her eyes twinkle
As the light of the headlamp lights her up.
I have known her ( or her ancestors) for long.
Very polite, seemingly embarrassed
Having to witness my nocturnal
Passage of the bowels, she pretends
To be busy with cleaning herself up.
Observing her through the camera
I am reminded of the many lonely nights
My friend! What brought us together?
Was it the love for each other’s presence?
Was it the comfort in each other’s being?
Was it the glow in our eyes and hearts?
Was it the joy, the warmth and mirth
Was it regard, respect, the reason
Or was it because we just felt at ease?
Was it just the way we were?
Weren’t there times when it came to an end,
Weren’t there moments when we flew apart?
Why to each other did we take
Why each did we value, more than others?
What made you my friend, my friend?
What was the chemistry, what was the fusion?
What, pray tell me you see in me
What made you say I am your friend?
Always finds a way to see me,
Flirts time and time again,
She stares deeply into my eyes,
I’m just a friend,
She laughs at all my jokes,
Smiles when I’m near,
Playfully touches me when close,
I’m just a friend,
Never afraid to send compliments my way,
Shows interest in anything I say or do,
Tells her closest friends and family about me,
I’m just a friend,
Charming,
Thoughtful,
Sweet,
Personable,