You drop words so easily,
Not knowing their weight.
You said the wrong thing
And now I'm going insane.
Sure you don't realize.
But I'm still here.
A version you killed,
And a version I made.
I'm perfect so see me.
Don't be so rude.
I try hard to tell you,
But you always leave the room.
Oh my god,
How did I stoop so low?
To find myself at your beck and call.
Your regrets,
Give them to me.
Let me feel thier weight,
Crush my back and bury me in the sand.
Your pains and struggles,
Give them to me.
Let me know what it's like to be hurt,
And not have enough space to breath.
Your love,
Give it to me.
I beg of you let me know what it feels like,
To stay in your arms all night.
I can't express it more.
I can't shout from the mountains anymore,
Because I have lost my voice.
So please. Please.
I wish you would realize,
That I'm so alone,
Its amazing I'm still alive.
I always thought that our
Endless paragraphs would last forever,
But then I came across a full stop.
How is it that I let you in so far?
That everytime I hear my phone,
I'm broken even more because it not you.
God know how much it hurts.
I'm a fool for thinking it will change,
That we'll grow back to our old ways.
So I wrote this for you.
And I hope it finds you well.
Because what i truly want to say is
I'm scared.
The water churns
Fish swarming
Bugs hopping
Yet in the middle of the pond,
Lies a serene water lily
The fish jump around,
stirring the surface.
The alligator lies at the bottom,
Springing on anything that comes nye
Yet in the midst of chaos,
Remains the water lily,
Silent and still.
Words cannot describe it's beauty,
Only the through the eyes of the onlooker.
Sought after by many,
The water lily becomes weary.
It's nothing
My life is nothing
My other half is gone
I miss you so much it hurts
It hurts so much just to think about you
To think about how much I miss you
I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to forget how much I miss you
I want to scream and cry and hope that you hear me
I'm not that smart
Yet you value kindness over intelligence
I'm not that pretty
Yet you love every part of my body
I do stupid things
Yet you think they're silly, simple and
easy-to-make mistakes
I'm such a cry baby
Yet you believe it's nothing wrong with being over-sensitive
I'm not perfect
Yet you believe I am perfect
I say mean things
Yet you forgive me
I was a fool
Yet you believe I didn't know better
I hate myself
I'm fine
At least for now
I know I tell you this many times
But I am truly fine
I'm okay
Because you're with me today
I love you unconditionally
In adjectives that don't exist yet
Adjectives that describes how much I love you
But I'm also too afraid of loving you this much
Because I'm afraid of losing you
When I thought I was over her
I still wasn't over her
I know I must but I can't
I know you don't see me the way I see you
But it hurts
It hurts to think that I must move on
That I must forget you
I live in denial
I say to myself
That I'm not affected by this
That I'm not sad
That it doesn't hurt
To the person that will one day love me...
I wait for you tentatively
Unsure as to if you’ll really come
And like everyone I have expectations of you
But unlike anyone mine are more accurately requests:
I expect you to be patience
It takes me longer to process things
but I’ll get there if you give me time
I expect you to understand when no one else does
Know me for who I am in all my versatility
I expect you to hold me with warmth and sincerity
May the space of you outstretched arms become my safe haven
I expect you to let me rest with your arm around me
Let me hear the heart that beats for the both of us as what’s left of mine
I would have already surrendered to you
A deadly disease
A hurtful emotion
It boils your blood
And makes you go crazy
Kind of like mad cow disease
A zombie of love
No longer human
Might feel like you’re in heaven
But really you’re slowly losing yourself
Uncontrollable actions
Turning into a stranger
Until you finally break
And lose everything
That is the disease
A disease called love
The destruction of mankind