People sometimes ask me
Why I walk alone on the playground
By myself
I tell them that I'm bored
And usually they scoff at me and walk away
That hurts a little.
I'm cold, all the time
Truth is that I miss him with every fiber in my being
I love him
And he doesn't love me.
They often stare at me
And laugh at me
Based on what I'm wearing that day
Sometimes they whisper behind my back
And say secrets that I never wanted anyone to know
I never knew
I've fallen in love with someone new
It's a foolish thing....yes, it's true
He's nice....
He's beautiful....in every way...
He makes me feel good today..
But I don't see him often...
No, I do not...
See, he's perfect...
And I am not.
Funny how that whole 'love' thing works
You think your gonna find your Prince Charming or Princess
And then when you do
You fall so hard
And so fast
And you never realize that
F A L L I N G
means eventually
H I T T I N G
T H E
G R O U N D.
Funny how that works
I do so much work into trying to get you to notice
I curl my hair
Clear up my skin
Put on slightly tinted lip balm
Hoping you'll stare at my lips.
But no
My efforts are useless
You'll always be with her
She has blue eyes
Long blonde hair
Skinny waist.
I was a fool to think you'd like me.
I'm just that annoying background character
While your the hero.
I'm the person who gets chosen last
I really love him
He's perfect
He makes me feel happy on the inside
He doesn't really talk to me much
I don't really know why....
Am I annoying?
Am I too stupid?
Am I ugly?
I'm afraid of him sometimes though....
Like he's going to hurt me.
He said that I was "ratchet" the other day
I really felt like crying
But I chose not to.
He hates how I look
My jeans are too tight apparently
My jacket is dirty
There once was a boy
Who had an admiration for another boy
That admiration soon changed into true love
This boy,
He thought
Is perfect in every way
He has brown luscious curls
Deep blue and green eyes
And a voice so smooth and low
He makes me want to kiss him
But this boy
The one whom he loved very much so
Didn't love him
In fact he didn't like him at all
And when this other boy
The one who liked him
In the perfect world,
You would be mine,
And I would be yours,
And we'd be together.
But since we live in the real world,
We're not.
I miss your touch,
I miss your warmth,
And most of all;
I miss us
I used to love him
So very much
He was the one who hung my moon and stars
He was the one who made me feel happy
Like I meant something
But now I know
His true intentions
I was just a test to him
And I failed
I miss him lots
He makes me feel special
Like I mean something
But then
He got a girlfriend.
Hie kisses her
And hugs her
And makes her feel happy
I want to feel happy too.
But then I realize that I don't deserve it
That he is so perfect
And that no one wants me
I'm fragile.
I don't talk much
No; not at all even
People don't want to figure me out
All I want is a boyfriend
Someone to love me
Someone to curl up with in bed, under all the covers
Watching stupid movies
And kissing.
But wait;
I don't deserve this.
He said he loved me
He really didn't.
He lied, he poked, he punched and hurt me.
He hates me.
I love him
But he doesn't love me.
It's funny how I can care so much about a person
Who wouldn't care if I fell off the face of the earth
They say this kind of love is wrong
That it's bad.
And maybe it is
Hopefully things will change
Hopefully he'll be right there for me
Maybe even love
But certainly not now
Sometimes I wonder
"How could anyone love me?"
With all my flaws
And quirks.
How could I even let someone love me
When I couldn't even love myself?