Why does it have to be like this
Its been 6 years
Why cant we see each other
I want to see you
You want to see me
Whats stopping us
I know
Distance
Distance is keeping us apart
Im sorry
I just dont understand anymore
11:11, make a wish
I made a wish
my wish was you
you made a wish to
it was about me, you said
I wondered and wondered until I had enough courage to ask
you said 'I wished for a phone so I could call you'
I was shocked, I told you that I want things to go my way
but in actual fact I wished to see you
like I always do
I would never tell you though
because I'm to scared to
I love you, you just don't know
I thought I knew
I thought I had it planned
I thought that maybe one thing is going to plan
I was wrong
You came along and everything changed
You made me feel hot faced
Blushing with every smile
Every laugh
Every everything
But I thought I knew
I thought I planned and I didn't
I didn't
You will never know
You will never understand
You will never see me like I see you
You will never see me in my light hour
You will never have an idea of how I feel
You will never see me how i see you
You will never love me how I love you
The darkness has not gone yet
The darkness hasn't gone because I can't get you out of my head
You bring pain and fear
You bring darkness
I want it to stop
It won't
Until we forget each other
But the thing is
I don't want to forget you
And I don't know why
I can keep our memories alive
But I can't keep everyone alive
I will keep you alive as long as I can
I don't care if that puts me in danger
I will keep you alive
Because I can
Because I love you
And I won't ever stop loving you
The pain you made me feel
It's unbareable
I hate it
But it has never gone away
Because I know your there
Waiting
Watching me cry myself to sleep
And you can't do anything about it because your on the opposite side of this glass wall
We are separated and that's that
Almost is a sad word
I almost had you
I almost wanted to forget you
I almost wanted to be loved by you
I almost got better
You almost loved me
You almost made it
You almost said goodbye to me
But
You never took the risk
And you never wanted it to end up like this
Did you?
Forever is a word I never want to hear
Its scary and a really long time
If you say it to my I wouldn't know how to react
Normally I would go and say no and put my own self esteem down
I would probably change the subject
Or leave
You wouldn't care really no-one would
'If I died what would you do?'
I asked you that and you changed the subject.
What does that mean?
Because I dont know
Does that mean you just didnt want to answer it or did you feel like you couldn't for the answer that you would give
Please tell me
But dont tell me 'forever'
Grief; yes.
Analysis; of course.
But the Escher path says only,
“It is. It is. Just accept it.
“Or don’t. It’s up to you.
Be warned, though: bitterness and regret never once
turned back time.
Except to eat up memories, turn them foul;
belch them back in your face, distorted.”
So here is my pledge. Here are the promises
I will try hard to keep, however hard it may be.
I.
I will not say or do things that make you feel bad or guilty.
I will not weep in public. I will not spout vengeful poetry. Sympathy,
solicited, does not heal. Guilt resurrects nothing.
I will try to reflect, rather than ruminate.
Maybe it was the way he talked,
Or maybe it was his eyes,
Maybe it was the way he walked,
Like a true dream full of lies.
Maybe I was too weak and timid,
For those words I couldn't say to him,
Because his eyes made me lose control,
And made the light in my brain go dim.
Maybe he knew I fell for him,
Maybe he did not,
Maybe I was nothing for him,
Maybe I was all that he got.
I don't know the reasons ,
I know just the words,
That have changed my past and present,
And have locked me up in my own world.
Will our confusion ever end?
Or is it destined to continue?
Because the way we are now,
Seems like an unending loop.
Can I end my own pain?
Or do I have to live like this?
Will you end it all for me?
Dissipate it's existence?
Can I live without the pain?
I think I keep it around to know I'm alive.
I kind of like it now.
To know I feel even though it hurts so much.
But when you make me feels,
It's never pain....
Always pleasure, how do you do it?
Make me feel beautiful, when on the inside I'm scarred and bruised.